Lisa Barry: How do you feel about dying in your old age? Oh, I don't mean how do you feel about your earthly death; I'm talking about another kind of death. What would you do if in your 70's you realized that God was calling you to die to yourself? Now doesn't it seem as though if a person hadn't died to self by the age of 70 that it probably wasn't going to happen? Well not so, says today's guest, Ted Simonsen. He's written a poem about death to self that he's going to share on today's program. So I hope you can stay with us as Elisabeth Elliot visits again with her friend Ted Simonsen. It's all coming up next on this Wednesday edition of Gateway To Joy. Here's Elisabeth to get us started.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That?s what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking with my friend Ted Simonsen again today. Ted is old, as I am old. And we've been talking about some of the things that we've been learning in old age. What have you got for us today, Ted?

Ted Simonsen: I cure for preoccupation with self. This is kind of a poem because it really doesn't rhyme, but it's sort of autobiographical and it brings out this business of preoccupation with self. Here is goes:

"I was a Christian; I yearned to live in the Spirit. But the harder I tried, the more I failed. I became terribly self-conscious. It seemed that I simply could not get away from self.

I was so pre-occupied with my feelings, how I felt others looked at me--my own small successes and failures. Oh, I could talk the talk all right, but I felt myself a hypocrite. I could pray, but without conviction.

"Then when everything became intolerable, I quit trying. My sham existence collapsed and I experienced a peace. But not for long because I dramatized my quitting. I visualized how my defeat was really the first step in the wonderful success I'd planned for so long. In my mind I arose a new man from my ashes. But it was only old hypocrisy with a new face.

"Then one day I quit this sham too. I didn't know that this death was the last. I was weary of the playacting. Even the yearning to be real was gone. All was gray and still. Then somewhere deep within there was a small voice. Was it my imagination again? No, it couldn't be, because the message was so incomprehensible.

"What was it? 'Go to the prisons.' 'The prisons? What ever for? What must I do there, or say? And when, and for how long?' But I went, and as I obeyed this strange command I was healed of that terrible, lifelong pre-occupation with self. God gave me what to say in the prisons. It's been eight years now. I make chalk drawing and tell parables all about Jesus.

"But inside I'm now free. God, who watches over hearts, decided that at last I had learned the lesson. What lesson? That the flesh profited nothing--even earnest religious flesh. He decided that I was finished at last, trying to combine His will and mine, and ready at last to take His will as my own.

"I'm a hard case. Not everyone has 65 years to get it right. What am I to do with such mercy? Oh, I know very well. As I am here in the last chapter of my life, I am to extend that mercy to others and to bear with them as God has borne with me. To the poor prisoners and their prisons, and to many others outside who carry their chains with them in business, family, community life, the arts--yes, in church too, just like me. I have found that a man cannot choreograph his own life and every man's life is different. Only one thing must be the same. He must come to Jesus like a little child and say, 'Here I am, Lord. Please take me. Do with me as You see fit. I embrace Your will whether I understand it or not. And if I'm still playacting after all this time, please save me from that too. I do not trust myself. It's all Yours, Lord, the good and the bad. Just let me be with You.'

"And what will I say when it's all over? When from heaven's heights I look back? I will say, 'Glory to God! What mercy, what patience, what a miracle of grace! The hound of heaven pursued me down the labyrinth in passages of the years. He would not give me up. He loved me with a steady, untiring love until my heart was broken beyond repair. And I was still and quiet at last.'

"How can I describe such a love? I try every day at my computer. I churn out words, but they all fail. But I pray that He will take my poor words and make them into a key to unlock other hearts, so that they may catch a glimpse of glory and rise up from wherever they happen to be and set out to find Him."

Elisabeth Elliot: Ted, if there was someone sitting in a wheelchair, feeling very helpless and useless, and they heard this wonderful testimony of the difference that Jesus Christ has made in your life. I love the phrase that you said, that you dramatized your quitting. And then the time came when you were weary of playacting. And I'm sure that all of us have experienced that in some measure. Then you heard the still small voice. Do you have some words of comfort and encouragement to a person who has been listening carefully, wants to do the will of God, feels as thought he's worth nothing. What can he do right this minute?

Ted Simonsen: Well, I was thinking the other day about my life, and this poem here is autobiographical. That generally speaking, the Lord has spent half of my life trying to convince me that I had nothing to give Him, and the other half of my life to persuade me to give Him that nothing. The peace came when I gave Him the nothing. After that--well, there was nothing. I was simply to follow Him, do what He said, and He freed me from that terrible pre-occupation with self.

Elisabeth Elliot: That's exactly what I was fishing for. Somebody out there may be able to say right this minute, "Lord, I give you my nothing."

Ted Simonsen: That's right. His requirements are so all-embracing and yet so simple that anybody can do it. It's a matter of choice. And I want to make a word of caution here. Don't wait until you feel like it.

Elisabeth Elliot: Good word.

Ted Simonsen: Because you may never feel like it. The action is in the will, not in the emotions. We will what we want. We do what we really want. Then the emotions come along behind. I'd like to read one more thing. This is called "A Call to Arms."

"I was in the library recently, and I read a speech given by Winston Churchill during World War Two when it looked as though Hitler's armies would invade England. And these powerful words still echo today, as they must have been heard by the English listening to their radios. He said this,

"'We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France. We shall fight on the seas and oceans. We shall fight with growing confidence in the air. We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields and in the streets. We shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender.'

"As I read those stirring words, I thought--shouldn't our determination, as Christians, to serve the Lord and resist the devil be even greater than this man's resolve to defend his country? If Christians today were given a call to arms, it might read something like this,

"I will guard my heart with all diligence. I will persevere in prayer. I will serve the Lord not as a solitary zealot, but in submission to others in the army of God. I will consider every high purpose, every noble endeavor God sets me to do--not only as possible, but imperative, and count on Him to provide me with everything I need to do it. My future is in His hands. If death is part of my next assignment, I will find myself in good company. Stephen, Peter, Paul, Polycarp, Joan of Arc, Jan Hus, John and Betty Stam, Jim Elliot and thousands more, who are right now cheering me on from the ramparts of glory. Because I am surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, I will dare to be a Daniel in my generation. I will scorn this present evil world and its values and live without fear. For my Commander and Chief has said, 'Fear not.' I will endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. I will count no sacrifice too great for His dear sake. I will permit no other person or cause to compete with my loyalty to Him. And if I fail in all my best intentions and disappoint my fellow soldiers and myself, I will pick up my broken sword and fight on, because I am determined to deny my enemy the satisfaction of seeing me quit. And because my God has a reputation for great mercy.

"Does this seem too extreme? Is not the spiritual condition of North America today even more desperate than England's military plight when that country faced the Nazis in 1941? If so, can any determination less than this, hope to succeed?

"Ephesians 6:12 records, 'For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.' Have you taken the measure of these forces that are lined up against us, and are you satisfied that some half-hearted Sunday kind of Christianity will win against them?

"Do you doubt the bitter hatred of the enemy? The Bible says he is come to kill and destroy. Look around at the devastation that the devil is producing right now in the lives of many people you know. I have no desire to frighten anybody with the awfulness of Satan's strength, but unless we wake up to the life or death nature of the battle we're in, we will not call upon the One whose power is greater."

Elisabeth Elliot: Thank you, Ted. That is "A Call to Arms."

Lisa Barry: Indeed it is. Are you ready to draw the sword in your own life? I pray that each of us will step out in boldness and take the assignment that God gives--no arguments or excuses, no delays or empty promises. But you might ask, "Where do I begin?" Well, the best way I can think of is to pray for opportunities to influence your own family for Christ. And to get some great ideas, I'd recommend Elisabeth's video Forget Me Not: A Grandmother's Influence. It might just be the best investment you'll ever make. The cost is $18.50, and you can send that amount along with your request to:

Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll free 1-800-759-4JOY. An when you call, don't forget to ask for information about Elisabeth Elliot's new greeting cards by Dayspring. Our number again is 1-800-759-4569. Or dial up our Web site at gatewaytojoy.org. You can order books, find daily devotionals and a lot more.

Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible, and is supported by the generous gifts of people like you. Drop us a line and let us know you're listening. Tomorrow Ted talks about being rescued from religion. Find out what that's all about next time on Gateway To Joy.