Elisabeth Elliot: Am I speaking to someone who has been abused; abandoned; divorced; cheated; lied about; deceived by a business partner; rejected by your children, your spouse, your parents, the church people? Are you a victim of misunderstanding? Forgive, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

Lisa Barry: Have you ever noticed that forgiveness always seems like a good idea when we're telling someone else to do it. But when it's our turn to forgive, the task seems unbearable. What are we supposed to do with all those memories? What happens when that instant replay reminds us over and over of how we were mistreated? Is it naive to think that we could really forgive someone when our emotions rage with bitterness?

Today on Gateway To Joy, Elisabeth Elliot continues talking about a formula for forgiveness. Take out a pencil and paper and jot it down. Let's get started.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says, "and underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking about "Forgiveness."

I've read several wonderful letters from men who have been able, through the grace of God, to forgive. And here's another one, a very nice letter from a man who tells me that it has been a privilege listening to Gateway To Joy. He said:

"I've always been a believer in our Lord Jesus Christ. You, through God, have given me patience, peace, wisdom and trust that I no longer had 22 months ago. You have made me aware of the true relationship between a man and a woman, a wife and a husband.

"You see, I will end up doing two years and one month and one week for beating my wife. Upon my arrival here I was filled with self-pity, jealousy, anger and all the other negative feelings that Satan could cause me to experience. Two mornings after being locked up, my wife began living with a man half my age. I will be 53 years old this March. In God's time, He made a way for me to come back to Him. I will cherish these times here and remember them well. It has been and will continue to be the way back to our Lord Jesus Christ. I have asked God for His forgiveness, and I believe He has forgiven me.

"I like to call these days I spend here 'God's schooldays.' I shall always keep this godly wisdom within me. I have also heard from my wife. She wants to give me another chance. I know that this all came about through Jesus Christ's love and forgiveness for me. He has given me another blessing that I may return to my wife and five-year-old son and three-year-old daughter.

"In closing, I will continue prayers for you and all the others that you may reach continuously to bring people, as myself, back to our Lord Jesus Christ."

Thank you so much, Ted, for your letter. It's an inspiration, I'm sure, to a number of people.

I do get many letters from prisoners. And if prison doesn't do anything else for you, it certainly gives you time to ponder and think, doesn't it--think through the past, think about what you want to aim at in the future. And of course, right there in your cell you can receive Jesus Christ as your Savior. No matter what you've done, no matter what you're in there for...and usually people don't tell me in their letters what it is that they're there for. It doesn't make any difference to God. The grace is greater than all our sin.

We used to sing a hymn in family devotions at home:

Yesterday, I gave three things that one can do in order to forgive that person who has done something, which you might think is unforgivable. And so I will review them briefly.

The first thing that you have to do if you're going to forgive that person is to receive the grace of God. And until you receive grace from God and His forgiveness of you, you will not be in a position to forgive somebody else.

The second thing, acknowledge the wrong. Name it, whatever it was. Name it in the presence of Christ. Be straightforward with Him.

Number three, lay down all your rights. Forgiveness is the unconditional laying down of the self.

And now, number four, what to do to or for that person. A, under four, here I am talking like a schoolteacher now. I have an outline--1, 2, 3, 4, and then four points underneath number four.

So the first one is, if that person asks forgiveness, forgive. Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us" (Matt. 6:12). In other words, Jesus is saying, "You must give to that other person exactly the measure of grace that you are expecting Me," God is saying, "to forgive you for." And all of us know that we have sinned against God many more times than we have ever sinned against people.

The second thing to do for that person is if he does not forgive you, forgive him anyway in a private transaction with God.

Number three, pray for him.

And number four, ask for grace to treat that person as if nothing had ever happened. Stand with Christ for him.

My brother Phil Howard was a missionary up in Northwest Territory in Canada. And when he first went up there, he could not gain the trust of the slave Indians--people who had seemed to receive nothing from white men except evil. And so, of course, my brother being another white man, they took it for granted that he was there to do them in. It took my brother almost two years to gain the confidence of the Indians.

Shortly after he succeeded, the government sent a man there to start a school. This man, of course, was seen in the same light that my brother was seen--as a man who has come to exploit them. And so this man, of course, was very isolated and became very jealous that he did not have the confidence of the Indians in the way that my brother Phil did.

And so he became very vindictive. And he had a very powerful weapon against my brother in his two hands--the government sent all the welfare checks to John, the teacher. And so John made an announcement that any Indian who had anything whatsoever to do with Phil Howard would not qualify to receive his social security check. Can you imagine how long it took for that to take shape? Well, you can bet your bottom dollar my brother Phil did not see another Indian for a long time.

Now, how do you think Phil felt toward John? He was praying one day, realizing that his prayers were bouncing back from the ceiling. He said, "Lord, what's wrong?" And the Lord reminded him of that verse that says, "Love your enemies...do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you" (Matt. 5:44).

And Phil said to the Lord, "Lord, I can't love him. You're going to have to do that for me and through me. I can certainly pray for him [that's the second thing]. I will do that. But I don't know of anything good that I can do for him, will You show me?"

And it was not very long after that that the Lord showed him that the ice was coming in. John was frantically trying to get his boat out of the water down by the riverside. And of course, when the ice comes in, in a place like Northwest Territory, it comes in with a vengeance. And if a boat is stuck in the ice for the winter, it will be smashed to bits in the spring breakup.

Phil raced down immediately to the river, realizing that God had indeed answered his prayer. He said to John, "Hang on a minute! I have a winch. My son and I will come down and help you get the boat out." They did so.

Now do you suppose that John's attitude changed immediately toward my brother Phil? It would have been nice, but that's not what happened. But the government moved John elsewhere. My brother never expected to see him again.

But one day, on the streets of Edmonton, Alberta, Phil bumped into John. And John said to Phil, "Phil, I will never forget what you did for me that day." And he said, "I hope that God will give us an opportunity to go back to Nahani together, so that I can tell the Indians that I was wrong and you were right."

Now what had Phil done? He asked forgiveness, he forgave the man who had trespassed against him, he prayed for him, he did good to him, and--by the grace of God--he learned to love that man.

And the last thing, you must ask for grace to treat that person as if nothing had ever happened. Am I speaking to someone who has been abused; abandoned; divorced; cheated; lied about; deceived by a business partner; rejected by your children, your spouse, your parents, the church people? Are you a victim of misunderstanding? Forgive, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

Now a word about our own repentance. It is not vexation with ourselves. Repentance is not impatience. It's not wounded pride. It's not self-pity. It's not disappointment. Repentance is a complete surrender of my sinfulness to the only One who can cleanse me from all sin, and that is Jesus Christ.

There's an old hymn that says, "What can wash away my sin?" The answer, "Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

"What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus."

Lisa Barry: And that is something we need to be reminded of daily. You know, over the years, Elisabeth Elliot has been committed to providing everything she can to aid in your spiritual growth. And one of those daily reminders has been in the form of a newsletter called "The Gatekeeper." And with the ending of the Gateway To Joy radio program at the end of August "The Gatekeeper" will be wrapping up production as well. But we would like to make this last and final "Gatekeeper" available to you.

Now, if you already have "The Gatekeeper" delivered to your home, you don't need to order this last issue because it will be sent to you automatically. But for the rest of you who don't get the publication but would like to take a little bit of Gateway To Joy history with you, just give us a call to request the final issue of "The Gatekeeper." But call now because supplies are limited. Just ask for information on the final edition of "The Gatekeeper."

Call toll free 1-800-759-4JOY. We also have today's program available on tape, ask about it when you call 1-800-759-4569. Or, you can write to:

Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, NE 68501. That's Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, NE 68501. Or, find us on the Web at gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow, Elisabeth reads another letter from a woman looking for love. Find out what she's learning, next time on Gateway To Joy.