Elisabeth Elliot: Shouldn't we always remember to go to the Lord, instead of to 39 of our closest friends? Why not go first to the foot of the cross?

Lisa Barry: Raise your hand if you've ever been guilty of that. I know I have. It just goes to show how impatient we can be. Sure, we'll take things to God in prayer. But if He doesn't respond with the answer we want within a week, it's off to Plan B, isn't it? All this week on Gateway To Joy, Elisabeth Elliot has been going through a series called "The Givens and the Not-Givens." Today she'll be reading letters from people who have felt the pain of the not givens, but who didn't give in to the temptation of sulking. Find out why next.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking today about what I call the givens and the not-givens-the things which God gives and the things which God does not give.

I ended yesterday's program reading part of a letter from a woman who said that she had just turned 40. She had never been married. She had gone through her 20's, hoping for marriage, then through her 30's. Through the years, she said, "Most of my friends got married, which left me feeling very lonely and alone. This emotional barrenness drove me to the Lord."

I was so glad to read that. Shouldn't we always remember to go to the Lord, instead of to 39 of our closest friends? Instead of going to some professional counselor first of all, why not go first to the foot of the cross? It's there by faith we receive our sight. It's there that God can speak most intimately and helpfully to us.

So she says, "This emotional barrenness, which was the given, drove me to the Lord to seek Him to be my all. He was always there, even though many, many times I didn't feel like He was. This is where God allowed your teaching to touch my life. God is sovereign. He is in control. Do the next thing.

In listening to you one time, you said you can't explain the whys and you don't always know the answer to life's heartaches, but you know the One who knows. Look to Him through your trials.

I was involved in a seven-year relationship that came to an end about a year ago. Needless to say, I loved this fellow very, very much. I thought it would eventually end in marriage, but it didn't. I was 39 and it left me totally hopeless.

I thought, 'O God, You are my source of life. I depend on You. But right now I don't think I'm going to make it.' Well, to make a long story short, the Lord is faithful and He had everything under control.

About four months later, this past January a wedding allowed me to cross paths with someone I had known before. We had met each other about nine years ago at a church we were both attending at the time. Occasionally through the years we had seen each other, but it was always as friends.

After the wedding, we started going out and this time it was much different. Todd is a perfect example of what a godly Christian man should be. We are both about the same age, and neither of us has ever been married. The Lord developed a very deep, rich and caring relationship between us.

I wouldn't call our journey dating, but truly a courtship experience. Over the past few months I have experienced a courtship period that I had always dreamed about. The way Todd led us was so unique. I knew our direction, but he and I weren't talking about marriage all the time. This was so wise. It protected both of our hearts.

I knew, though, if he ever told me he loved me, it would mean marriage was ahead. It wasn't always easy for me. I wanted to know where we were on this path, where did we stand. The Lord's grace allowed me to trust Him to work through Todd to accomplish His perfect plan.

Well, on September 20, 1997 the Lord allowed me to feel like Cinderella. It was a beautiful evening. Todd showed up at my door with a white rose. We had a romantic dinner at a very nice restaurant overlooking the city. Then something wonderful happened. I heard from the one that I had loved telling me that he loved me and that his love was irreversible. I heard him saying that he believed God brought us together and he couldn't live without me. I felt like I was in a dream.

The next sentence was what I had been longing to hear. Holding my hand, I heard Todd say, 'I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?' At this point, I was so overwhelmed with emotion, almost in shock. I said yes. That was about all I could say. Our lifelong commitment began.

I'm preparing now for the wedding and feel like the Lord has let me experience a little heaven on earth. On the other hand, the past has not been erased. God has used the pain and suffering of past years to teach me many things that I will be able to bring into our marriage. I know that everything has been made perfect in His time.

Writing this letter to you seems unbelievable. I want to glorify the Lord in all of this. The Lord carried me and was my strength. When my faith was weak, I had others praying for me. The Lord saved Todd for me and me for him through all those years."

Let me remind you, and this is Elisabeth talking now, that all those years were the not-given years when she wanted marriage and marriage was not given. But now God gave her what she had longed for. She says, "That's the message I'd like to share. His sovereignty reigned and has encouraged my faith and I pray will encourage others. Rarely do we hear the benefits of being older when a person marries. Many misconceptions are out there about the older single, which I feel are false. This is a testimony that you can be older and perfectly normal when the Lord chooses to bring you and your life partner together. Thank you for letting me share my joy. The Lord gives what is good for us when it is good."

One listener wrote, "I listened several times to your program and thought you were full of garbage. But I didn't quit listening for some reason, praise the Lord! As I began to listen, the child in me began to cry and cry. I wanted a mother like you. I rededicated my life. I hated some of the things you said, because I didn't want to face the truth of it all in my own life. But thank God for the program. I was able to begin a new life in Christ."

Well, that's the greatest gift, isn't it, that anyone could give. God gives eternal life. He will give eternal life to anyone who comes to Him in humble supplication. Am I speaking to those today who have bumbled along, assuming that they were Christians simply because they were raised as Christians? Or because they go to church fairly regularly? Maybe because you grew up in a Christian home and you've been going to church all your life. You know Bible verses. Maybe you know some hymns. But perhaps, just possibly, you've never made a commitment to Jesus Christ.

He waits. He stands at the door and knocks. He will not barge in. He will not invade your privacy. He will not force Himself upon you. He simply says, "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hear My voice and opens the door, I will come in and sit down to supper with him and He with me." Would you like to sit down to supper with Jesus Christ? Would you receive that which He wants to give you?

If, up to this point, salvation was not given, perhaps it was merely because you didn't answer the door. You never opened that door for Christ to come in. He also says, "Come to Me, you who are tired and overburdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest."

Here is a woman who is infertile. She longs for a child. She says, "How do I find yourself on infertility online, as I have a friend who is presently struggling with her inability to conceive? It's a struggle I shared. It was more than nine years between when I married and my first child was born. Most of that time we were trying." So there was a time when a child was the not- given. The time came when the child was given.

Again, I remind you that God is sovereign. He has got the whole world in His hands and He waits for us to put our trust in Him, to see Him in all the events of our lives, to accept the things which He allows to happen and not to keep on hammering on His door for things about which He has said no.

As Amy Carmichael taught me so many years ago through her poetry, "In acceptance lies peace." That's one of the great watchwords in my life. This lady says, "I'd appreciate your prompt help. I am interested in the infertility series." As you know, I do talks on many different topics, often because people have written many letters about given topics. So I try to address them in some way which will be helpful.

I want to close with a testimony from St. Paul in the Book of Colossians. It's one of his letters. He says, "I rejoice in what was suffered for you." He is speaking now to the Christians in Colossae. "I rejoice in what was suffered for you and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions for the sake of His body, which is the church." Paul accepted the afflictions, which were God's given at that time.

What is God inflicting on you today? Are you angry about it? Are you trying desperately to get out of it? Or can you say, "Lord, I don't understand it. I wouldn't have asked for it. But this is what You've given me and I thank You and I ask You to help me to receive it as from Your hand."?

Lisa Barry: And that's a great thought to end today's program with. If you feel burdened down right now and you're having a hard time trusting God, here's a suggestion. Elisabeth has written the book called A PATH THROUGH SUFFERING. It's strong medicine for serious pain. For more information on how to purchase it, you can call us at 1-800-759-4JOY. That's 1-800-759-4569. Or you can write to us at Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Our Internet ministry address is gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow Elisabeth talks about letting go of our own stubborn will. That's next time on Gateway To Joy.