Lisa Barry: All this week Elisabeth Elliot has been talking about the givens and the not-givens. We can all relate to having difficulty with both of those at one time or another. It's the givens we don't want, like a different neighbor or a nagging back pain. It's the not-givens we want, like the perfect spouse, a more sensitive mate, or for some, any spouse at all. Where are you today? Are you content with your own set of givens and not-givens? Would the people you spend time with say that you're content? Today on Gateway To Joy, we'll meet some people who have been struggling with their own set of givens and not givens. You'll discover some very practical principles as we get started with this Friday edition of Gateway To Joy. Here's Elisabeth.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, continuing today my talks on the givens and the not-givens. That which is given to us we sometimes wish had not been given, and that which is not given we often wish were given.

I want to read today Psalm 116, a favorite of mine. "I love the Lord, for He heard my voice. He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live. The chords of death entangled me. The anguish of the grave came upon me. I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord, 'O Lord, save me!'"

Now those things were givens, weren't they? The chords of death; the anguish of the grave; trouble and sorrow. The psalmist does what you and I would do-"O Lord, save me!"

"The Lord is gracious and righteous. Our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simple-hearted." I hope the Lord will make me truly, honestly simple-hearted. "The Lord protects the simple-hearted. When I was in great need, He saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For You, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed; therefore, I said, 'I am greatly afflicted.' And in my dismay I said, 'All men are liars.'" That man was in the bottom of the barrel, wasn't he?

"How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. O Lord, truly I am Your servant. I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant. You have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to You and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people, in the courts of the house of the Lord, in the midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord!"

One of the things that's so wonderful about the Book of Psalms is that they are so human, so down to earth. The psalmist articulates again and again what I would not have been able to find words to articulate. But I say, "Yes, yes, yes. That's me, Lord. It's me standing in the need of prayer," as the old song goes.

There are the givens and the not-givens. He had experienced tears, stumbling. It even seemed as though he was about to die. He says, "How can I repay the Lord for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord."

I was speaking on the phone yesterday with a man who had committed adultery. He told me that he had broken his vows to his wife and he wanted to repay those vows before all the people. He referred to this psalm. I hope he is honest enough to carry through that decision that he told me he had made. I may be speaking right now to someone who has been unfaithful to either husband or wife. You made vows to that person and you broke them. But there is forgiveness. There is restoration. There is cleansing in the blood of Jesus. Don't put it off. Come back to the foot of the cross. Repent. Ask God's forgiveness and He will give it to you.

A listener writes, "I thought I was more of a submissive wife than I began as when I was first married. But Elizabeth's messages from this book"-speaking of Elizabeth's Rice's message in the book called ME? OBEY HIM? Her maiden name was Elizabeth Rice. She and I were in college together. But the book is published under her maiden name and her married name. Elizabeth Rice Handford. The book is entitled ME? OBEY HIM? I assure you, that book is a blockbuster and I needed it.

But this writer says, "Elizabeth's messages from this book turned a bright light on where God desires me to be as a wife pleasing to Him." So here's a case where a wife needs to accept her given position as submissive to her husband. Is God asking us women to be submissive to our husbands because they are smarter than we are or because they are more spiritual than we are or because we are lower in IQ than they are and we really can't do things that men can do? Well, I think most of us women would say we can do almost everything that men can do, but that doesn't mean we're supposed to, does it?

Competence is not the issue. We have been given a subordinate place in the marriage. "As the Church is subject to Christ, so the wife is subject to her husband. That is the given. The position of husbands is not given to us wives. The position of husbands is the given for the husbands. I hope that's crystal clear. We may not like it, but it is clear as a bell in the Book of Ephesians.

Another listener says, "My mother is younger in the faith than I and my grandmother lives thousands of miles away. I feel I know you. You are my friend, sister, mother and grandmother when I was dating through PASSION AND PURITY." PASSION AND PURITY is the title of a book, and apparently this writer was reading that book while she was dating.

"During my engagement through God's guidance, and a book called A SLOW AND CERTAIN LIGHT, and now as I sometimes struggle in walking with my Lord as a stay-at-home mom." I catch the note of acceptance there-such a lovely thing. Just grateful, glad, uncomplaining, willing acceptance of the lot that God has given to this woman.

I don't know what your lot may be, but I hope you know that beautiful hymn, "When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul.'" The man who wrote that story lost four little girls in a terrible accident at sea. His wife was spared, but he wrote that beautiful hymn. "When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot," in other words, no matter what God gives, "He has taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul."

So if you're one of those strugglers, not really wanting to take a subordinate position or not willing to be a stay-at-home mom, may God give you the grace of acceptance. "In acceptance lieth peace."

During the darkest times of my life, I have found such tremendous comfort in that simple maxim taught to me by that wonderful woman, Amy Carmichael. I want to read you the prayer of an old writer. It goes back to the 17^th century. His name was Simon Patrick. I know nothing about him.

But he wrote this; "O Lord, endue me with more contentedness in what is present and less solicitude about what is future." That word "solicitude" means different things. But here the meaning is less anxiety and worry about what is future. So I'll read it again. "O Lord, endue me with more contentedness in what is present and less solicitude about what is future, with a patient mind to submit to any loss of what I have or to any disappointment of what I expect. Fill me, O Lord, with the knowledge of Thy will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding. Fill me with goodness and the fruits of righteousness, and fill me with all joy and peace in believing that Thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me, but will make me perfect. Establish, strengthen, settle me, and be my God forever and ever, my guide even unto death."

May God give us more contentedness in what is given, more willingness to accept that which is not given. Let's never forget that He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. He will make us perfect. He will establish and strengthen and settle us. We need that, don't we? We need to be settled by the Lord of the universe. Will you trust Him for that?

Lisa Barry: As we close for today, here's a quick recap of the resources Elisabeth has mentioned. The first is the book, ME? OBEY HIM? That's written by Elizabeth Rice Handford. The other books are PASSION AND PURITY and GOD'S GUIDANCE, both written by Elisabeth Elliot.

For more information on how to purchase any of those books, you can call us toll-free at 1-800-759-4JOY. That's 1-800-759-4569. Our postal address is Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Our Internet ministry address is gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Monday Elisabeth begins a brand-new series based on her book, A LAMP FOR MY FEET. Join us then for another Gateway To Joy.