Lisa Barry: Have you women ever thought about how your attitudes affect your femininity? What I mean is-what do the clothes you put on say about you? Are you someone who likes to hang around in sweat pants and slippers? I sure am. Now I know I'm not supposed to be proud of that, but comfort is certainly a high priority to me. On the other hand, I don't always look or even act like the woman I think God wants me to be. So here's one example of something I do that affects my attitude.

The same is true when I neglect housework. I know it's something I should do, but I am great at finding excuses for why it didn't get done. Am I striking a familiar chord with any of you? Well, Elisabeth Elliot isn't someone who struggles with this like I do, but she has some great things to say that I think we'll all benefit from. Here she is.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking this week about fathers and mothers.

I told you about a wonderful family named the McKims. Julie and Ken McKim have thirteen children whom they have raised obviously with good humor, with a whole lot of prayer, and with discipline. It was very obvious that they were a very well behaved, well trained, cheerful family.

Another thing that I noticed about them was femininity. The McKim girls seemed to have a certain reserve. Mystery-my mother called it, as we used to talk about what it means to be a lady. A certain reserve, a distance, a poise, a calm. Any measure that I have of that, I believe I learned it from my mother. She was a lady. She tried to make us two girls ladies.

The McKim girls were dressed femininely. In my opinion, that's much more important nowadays than it has ever been, because we have easily absorbed the unisex frame of mind. We've fallen for the equality thing-something Jesus never sought. He never even asked for equality with His Father, although the three persons of the Trinity, we are told, are co-equal. The Bible says that He considered it not something to be grasped at.

Note, you fathers, true masculinity is taught by example. Are you teaching your boys what it means to be a man? I have written a book called THE MARK OF A MAN on the subject of masculinity, because I could see that the feminist movement was really doing a job on both men and women, confusing everyone about what it means to be a man or a woman.

Of course, my emphasis is a man or a woman of God. God was the One who thought up the idea of male and female. He created both in the image of God, but He created us under two separate modalities. It takes both man and woman adequately to represent the image of God.

Because so much in our world today has become unisex, I urge women to emphasize in their wardrobe the specifically feminine things. I'm not saying that I consider it wrong to wear shorts or slacks, but I do want to say, "Why not choose the things which are distinctly feminine, unless it's necessary to wear a pair of blue jeans?" If you are a cowgirl, for example, then you have to ride horseback. And if you are working in the garden, there are certainly occasions when it does help to have trousers on. When my husband and I walk in the sleet or the snow, here in Magnolia, Massachusetts, I wear a pair of old slacks on a day like that.

But as I look around my audiences, very often I see that there are many sweatshirts and sweat pants, many T-shirts and items, which really are cross-sexual. So let's be women for the glory of God.

I have a poem here called "Motherhood," showing two sides of the question. The author is unknown, so I'm sorry I can't give credit. The one side says this:

"It's such a waste of time to cook. I'm just a walking cookery book. I make and bake the morning through, the favorite pies and pudding, too. Then in half an hour or less, my toil has gone to nothingness.

It's a waste of time to dust the stairs, to clean the brass and polish chairs, to sweep and pick up bits of fluff, for nothing ever is clean enough. Five minutes after I have done, someone is sure to romp and run, kick out the stair rods, flick the mats, slam the doors and scare the cats. Some sticky hand is sure to press the brasses from their sprightliness.

I tidy up and do the dusting, but all the while my wings are rusting. Then washing day it seems to me is just a waste of energy. What use to stand before a tub and soak and rinse and blue and rub?"

I guess we know that this poem must have been written a long time ago. I think modern housewives haven't a clue what bluing is. But I remember it.

"What use to stand before a tub and soak and rinse and blue and rub? Next week the selfsame garment's stain will come into my hands again. It's such a waste of time to mend. One has no sooner reached the end of last week's pile then, need you ask it, this week's filled up the mending basket.

The stockings, which were hale and hearty, return from each picnicking party, weak and worn and wanly show great gaping holes in heel and toe, while buttons have a cantankerous way of disappearing every day. Sponging off the spots and ironing creases, between it all I'm worn to pieces. Woman, from cradle to grave, is nothing but a galley slave."

Now there is a lot of truth in that side, isn't there? But there's another side.

"I've done an angel's work today. Yes, such an honor came my way. Real angel's work. Lest you doubt it, I'm going to tell you all about it. Well, first I cooked. It was so nice to plan the pies, stewed fruit and rice. God sent His angel once to make cakes for a poor wayfarer's sake. Just today He honored me and sent the task my way, you see.

Then while I tidied up the place, gave every knob a radiant face, back of my mind this thought would lurk-that I was still at angel's work. Putting away coats and dresses and moving small, unsightly messes, for oh, 'tis such a lovesome thing, just straightening out and freshening. And after that, I washed a few small woolly garments, old, not new, things I had rubbed and rinsed before, quite forty times or even more. As I hung them on the line, I thought what Godlike work was mine-to cleanse, ah me, to wash out stains till not a single speck remains.

So later in the day, 'twas sweet to sit and rest my tired feet, mending the clothes and plan out, too, how to make old things into new. For surely it is an angel's way to put things right from day to day, to find thin places and repair the glad rags and the sturdy wear. Since wear and tear must surely be on this side of eternity, I'm feeling very proud to say I've done an angel's work today."

This poem certainly expresses two very different attitudes toward what has always been called women's work. I define women's work as the kind of work that nobody notices, as long as you do it, but the whole world is going to notice if you don't do it.

I do housework. I want it to be known that I'm not just a writer and a talker. I do housework, and I love it. In fact, I consider it the best part of the jobs that I do. I know that that's a very unpopular position to take in today's world. Women are supposed to hate housework and get somebody else to do it, if they can. But I love to be able to offer up all that I do to the Lord, and all that I do includes shopping and cleaning and ironing and washing and hanging the clothes on the line.

And may I say here that I have a most unusual husband, who told me from the very beginning of our marriage that he was raised in a family where men cleaned the floors. Women were never expected to clean the floors. Do you suppose I ever quarreled with Lars over that one? I never did. He also insists on helping me hang up the clothes, which I think is extremely kind of him. I try not to ask him to do it, but he volunteers every time. So I'm very grateful for that.

I want you to know also, though, that there are other kinds of work that I do besides housework, one of them of course being preparing talks for Gateway To Joy. I have a computer on which I write my books.

I found this quotation from Jeremy Taylor, who lived in 1613 to 1667. I've pasted this little quotation on the frame of my computer screen. He says, "When Thou shalt call me from this deliciousness of employment, may I pass into the employments of saints and angels."

I have to confess that I don't really know what Jeremy Taylor's employments might have been, other than his writings. But this was so apropos to my writing that I thought, "This is a good place to stick it, right there on the frame of my computer screen."

It isn't by any means always delicious to me to sit down to write. In fact, I would say that that practically never describes how I feel about the process of writing. It's hard. It's sweaty work. But I do have to say that when the piece is done and has been edited and been rewritten as many times as I can rewrite it, then it is delicious to have done it, isn't it?

And maybe there are some women listening to me today who would say, "Well, I really hate housework, but I do love to see a clean house." It's possible to learn to like what you have to do. If you can't do what you like, learn to like what you do and do it for Jesus.

Lisa Barry: I can honestly say that today's message had my name written all over it. As I glance at my stacks of paper all over my desk, it reminds me that the truth hurts. But now something that won't hurt a bit is learning about our Father's Day package that's full of stuff Dad will appreciate. Why do the old tie routine again this year when you can put resources in his hands that will help him live out his calling as a man and a father?

Find out more by calling or writing to us at this address: Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call 1-800-759-4JOY. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow Elisabeth talks about the failures of feminism, so I hope you'll be with us then for the next Gateway To Joy.