Lisa Barry: I wonder how many of you listening today are in the habit of keeping a journal. It's one of those good things we just don't seem to make a priority. Well, if you need a little incentive in that area, I think you'll find it today because Elisabeth Elliot is going to be sharing portions of one her journals with us. Now you might say, "Well, of course Elisabeth Elliot's diary would be interesting, but there?s nothing in my life worth writing about." We'll talk more about that in just a few minutes, but first, let's take a trip back in time to the jungles of Ecuador and let Elisabeth get us thinking about the value of telling the story. It's all coming up next on Gateway to Joy.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That?s what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking today about a certain period in my life, which was perhaps one of the most crucial and the most difficult in discerning the will of God.

Many of you know the story of five American missionaries who were killed in 1956. They were killed with the use of wooden spears on the Curaray River in the eastern jungle of Ecuador. One of those men was my first husband, Jim Elliot. When Jim died, I had made what sounded like a rather ridiculous promise to the Lord. I said, "Lord, if there?s anything You want me to do about those Indians"?the ones that had killed Jim?"I?m available," never for a moment supposing that God would be likely to ask a widow with a baby, who was ten months old at the time, to do anything about these so-called savage tribes.

But in a most remarkable way, in 1957 I found myself within rather easy walking distance of the Curaray River, where there was a group of Quichuas who lived. They were the closest Indians to the Auca tribe. These Quichua Indians I had contacted some time before and told them that if ever they saw any signs of Auca activity or met any of the members of that tribe, that they should please send me word.

Well, I certainly never expected that this was ever going to happen. But in the providence of God, I was asked by a missionary who lived on a station a great deal closer to the Aucas and to the Curaray River than my station?this missionary had asked me if I would be willing to come and spend some time on their station. He was going to be gone for a while.

So I prayed about it. I really wasn?t eager to go to stay on somebody else?s mission station, because I had a whole lot of work to do on my own, since I was the only missionary on that station after Jim died. But I prayed and said, "Lord, is this what You want me to do?" it appeared to me that that was indeed what He wanted me to do.

Well, I took my little daughter, of course. She was then two years old. We went to stay with the other missionary lady. We had been there for several days when right about noon two Quichua Indians arrived at the door with a very stunning piece of news, which was that they had two Auca women at their house.

They said to me, "Senora, do you want to meet them?" Well, of course my answer was yes. They said, "You?re going to have to hurry, because it took us six hours to get here. We left when the sun was coming up and the sun is high in the sky now. We want to be home by the time the sun is down. It took us six hours to get here. It?s going to take us six hours to get back. So if you want to come with us, we?ll give you about five minutes."

There was no question in my mind that this was God?s open door and that I was to go with them. So leaving my little daughter on that occasion with the lady with whom we had been staying, I set off down the trail with these two Quichua Indians.

This is my journal from November 13, 1957. Those of you who know the story of the killing of the five men do not know very much about the sequel. So November 13, 1957, which was the year following the death of the five men, I wrote this.

"I have arrived at Dario Santee?s house, where about forty Quichuas and two Auca women are gathered. One of the women is the older one who met Jim and the other four men on the beach in 1956." If you have seen the video called THROUGH GATES OF SPLENDOR, you have seen two Auca women and one Auca man who made contact with the five missionaries two days before the missionaries were killed. To my astonishment, one of the women who was waiting there on the Curaray River when I went in November was the older one who had spent a whole day with the five missionaries two days before they were killed.

I know this may get very hard to follow and very complicated, but I think you?ll be able to put yourself there in Dario?s house with me on that day in November. I was sure that this was the woman whom I had seen in the films.

I wrote, "I will put this non-chronologically in order to get the most important facts on paper. When I arrived at about 5:00 p.m."?I guess we walked faster than we had expected?"the two women were sitting on a beach." Of course, I didn?t know what their names were and I gave them two names, which really were rather silly. But of course now I know what their names really were, so I will call them by their real names. The first one was Mankamu, the older one. The second one was Mintaka.

"Mankamu was holding tight to the hand of a Quichua woman, but smiled faintly when she saw me. She registered no fear. Both Mankamu and Mintaka were dressed in ordinary Quichua women?s outfits, showing no modesty when they sat down, because of course they had never worn clothes before." The Quichua women had put skirts and blouses on them. When they sat down of course without modesty, this proved highly amusing to the Quichua men who were present.

"Mankamu has several teeth missing in the top row. Her eyebrows are plucked. Her hair is shaved in front of her ears. There are two moles beside her right ear, and neither woman had balsa plugs in their ears." We had noticed in the films that the five men had taken that many of the Auca Indians had great holes in their ears into which they put balsa wood plugs.

"The Indians here say that they found Aucas? footprints, including those of a man. But only the three women appeared, naked, shouting from the jungle. The younger girl left about 7 a.m.; the three having arrived at six. They say she indicated the children?then the number of them on her fingers?and then left. They think she is going home to get them.

Mankamu and Mintaka brought a new packet of matches with them, and this is all that they had. The Indians gave them homemade cigarettes. Mankamu made a wry face and spit after one suck; fortunately, it was not lit. One of the women went through quite a pantomime, apparently indicating that a child had been killed by lances. They showed understanding of guns.

They enjoyed my watch as they listened to it. They tried hard to blow the Indians? flute without success. They showed no understanding of my flashlight. They ate salt with a stolid expression. They said nothing about it." I was hoping of course to get a word for salt. The Auca language is totally different from the Quichua language, which I did know.

"So now I?ll try to put down more of the subjective. And if interrupted by another thought or incident, I will record the same as it comes.

First of all, I am absolutely sure that God led me here. He gave assurance that I was to go to Arajuno when I did. ?Do all that is thine heart; the Lord is with thee" was the Scripture that the Lord had given me, confirming that He did want me to go to stay with that other missionary lady.

Number two, I did not have to make any decision about bringing Valerie with me here. There was no one to carry her, no chair to carry her in.

Number three, I had my camera with me.

Number four, when the word came, my unhesitating decision was to come at once. Gwen"?the missionary lady?"concurred. This fulfilled what I had been sure of all along. When the time came to do something, it would be incontestably evident to the one who was to do it."

Let me pause here and just emphasize this great principle of the spiritual life. I have forgotten it many times, but I often go back to this?to realize that in the most dangerous and bewildering situation in my life, I realized that when the time had actually come to do something, it was incontestably evident that that was what God wanted me to do. I had done a lot of foolish worrying, because God is not going to tell us ahead of time, necessarily.

My journal continues. "We have prayed for a miracle. I believe this is it. Our prayer was of course that God would enable someone, somehow to make contact with the Auca Indians who had killed the five men. Here I was, the one whom God had assigned to send."

I wrote, "I believe this is it. With David, I come in the name of the Lord God?strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender." Those are two lines from the hymn that the five men had sung on the morning when they left to go to Auca territory.

My journal continues, "So I am completely at peace, as I feel sure that Jim must have been also. I?ve had the same thrill?surely greater, if anything. I have touched an Auca, and the same Auca woman that he had met. I have felt not the slightest trace of fear. This is not a surprise, really, though in the months I?ve contemplated this entrance. I?ve wondered just what my reaction would be.

For dear little Valerie?oh, she is a lovely child," I wrote, "I have committed her into the hands of Him who is her Father and mine. Especially He called Himself the father of the fatherless."

I?m going to stop there with my journal when I was living with some Quichua Indians on the Oglan River, which is a tributary of the Curaray. I will continue my story tomorrow.

Lisa Barry: What a story of faith. I wonder how much of that Elisabeth would have been able to remember had she not written it down. Less than half, I would guess. Do you ever wonder how much of your life has been forgotten? Let this be a challenge to hold on to your roots, to let your own handwriting tell the story of God's faithfulness in your life.

And if you'd like to hear more about today's story with the Aucas, you can find it in the book called THE SAVAGE, MY KINSMAN. The cost is $14.50, and you can send that, along with your request to Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll-free: 1-800-759-4JOY. Or drop by our Web site and order it that way. That address is gatewaytojoy.org. Today?s program has been a production of Back to the Bible.

There's more to come of the Auca story tomorrow, so be sure and join us then for another Gateway to Joy.