Lisa Barry: If you just tuned into Gateway to Joy this week, we're nearing the end of a great series called "Me? Obey Him?" Do those sound like words you've uttered at some point in your life? I know I have. Submission is a very misunderstood concept in our society, and Elisabeth Elliot has done a great job in setting the record straight on what it is and why it's required.

And even if you haven't had a chance to hear the programs leading up to this one, you'll still stand to gain a lot from what you hear today. Elisabeth Elliot has been reading bits and pieces from a book entitled ME? OBEY HIM? And I'll let you know how you can get your own copy of the book when I return at the end of the message today. And now stay tuned for Gateway to Joy coming up next.

Elisabeth Elliot: "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or dismayed." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, reading again today from Elizabeth Rice Handford?s book, ME? OBEY HIM?

I love the title of that book, and I'll tell you, it grabbed me and it has hit me between the eyes on just about every page. Now I'm a woman who has had experience in trying to be submissive and gentle and quiet and loving with three very different husbands. Two of them are in heaven; one of them, as far as I know at this moment, is just fine. I've been married to him a lot longer than the other two put together.

But God always tests me on the things I talk about on this program. I assure you that I learned from my old college friend--she was my classmate and my debate colleague. She was Elizabeth Rice then, and she is Elizabeth Handford now. But I have learned things from her in reading this book that I feel very embarrassed to realize I didn't know before. God help me, I was not living by all of them. The general principles, yes; but putting those into practice every day, we all know is the tough test.

So here's the next question she asks in her book, "?What if his commands (the husband's commands) are contradictory?? They may be. Husbands, like wives, are human. Sometimes they don't know what they want. Sometimes a man will say something in anger, not meaning it at all. Both you and he know he didn't mean it. In the midst of an argument, one husband said to his wife, 'Why don't you just get out of the house?' So she did. Later, she told me very sanctimoniously, 'He told me to leave, and since I'm an obedient wife, I left.' Actually, she was a rebellious wife and her rebellion nearly destroyed the home.

Jackie had a different problem. 'My husband drinks,' she said. 'He'll lose his driver's license if the police catch him driving when he's drunk one more time. But if he's drinking, he insists I give him the car keys. I've been trying to obey him, like you told me to. Is it right for me to give him the car keys and endanger people's lives like that?'

Have you ever asked him what he wanted you to do about it when he is sober? 'Oh, yes. Then he tells me I must be sure not to give him the keys when he's drinking.' I think that's your answer. You are doing what he basically wants you to do. Perhaps when he's been drinking, you could offer to drive him where he needs to go. That's what Jackie did. After two years of earnest prayer, her husband was saved.

Another friend has a husband who is an earnest, good Christian, but he is a brittle diabetic. His blood sugar is extremely hard to stabilize, and he often hovers between an insulin coma and sugar shock. When it gets out of balance, he is extremely irritable and unreasonable. His wife has learned this. So when he starts demanding something totally unlike himself, she knows they must get to the doctor at once. This same sort of compassionate understanding of a man's frailties is needed in the case of mental illness.

'How can I be a good Christian if he won't let me go to church?' Let's ask the question another way. 'How can you be a good Christian if you don't obey the plain command of God to obey your husband?' The first step of Christian growth is surrender of our own will to God's will. The most important way to be a good Christian is to obey God's commands.

Admittedly, it is hard to be a good Christian without fellowship with other Christians, without good Bible preaching. But you do have the Word of God. You have the Holy Spirit, the best teacher you could possibly have, who will guide you into all truth. You can be a strong Christian nurtured only by the Word of God, taught only by the Holy Spirit. It is not easy to be a good Christian without Christian fellowship, but you can do it and be the stronger for having had to stand alone for a while. Think, too, of what joy and fellowship you will have someday with the husband won by your submission as you serve the Lord together.

'Why do I have to make all the concessions? Why doesn't the husband have to do his part first?' Why? Because you are the one burdened for a Christian home. Having a home where Christ is the head is cheap enough at whatever price you have to pay. Think how long the rewards of a good Christian home will last. Then ask yourself if it is worth the trifling mortifications of obedience. Of course it is. All valuable things cost something. Certainly you will have to pay a price."

In one of my programs on the subject, I read a letter from a woman who had to choose between having the car she wanted and loving her husband. Well, she obeyed God. She gave in to her husband's desire for a truck, and the Lord honored her by changing the husband's mind. You never know whether the price is going to be as high as you think. Maybe it'll be higher, but on the other hand, God can work a miracle.

Back to Libby's book. "A girl I'll call Sue phoned. Her voice sounded panicky. 'Libby, come quick. Everything's falling apart.' I hurried to their home, dreading some catastrophic news. Sue and her husband had just weathered a stormy time of adjustment, and I could hardly imagine what could have gone wrong now.

'Just look,' she cried, pointing to two ordinary looking, innocent shoes lying in front of the front door. 'Yes?' 'Tom leaves stuff where he drops it all the time. All day long I have to pick up after that man. This is the last straw. You can't even walk in the door without falling over his things.'

I giggled. A pastor's wife shouldn't, I know. After all, how many times am I equally as foolish? 'Sue, if you picked up every sock, every dirty shirt, every sticky pair of pants Tom leaves down all day long, how much time would it take?' She wrinkled her forehead. Then it was her turn to giggle. 'Maybe 20 minutes.'

'Is it worth your spending 20 minutes a day to have a happy home?' She threw up her hands in surrender. 'Okay, I get it. No more preaching. I'll pick up his old dirty clothes and love him anyway.' And she did. Six years and four children later, she is still picking up after Tom, and still enjoying her happy home.

There's another merit in obedience, even when you feel you're making all the concessions. Heartfelt obedience will reveal to you your own deficiencies, your own failures. It will awaken in you a sense of need for the cleansing of the Holy Spirit in your own life.

Peggy said one day, 'My husband isn't spiritually minded at all. I wish he were like the pastor. I want him to be a good example to the kids, to earn the respect of our teenagers. Oh, he's a good man, but he hasn't been saved for very long and he just doesn't show all the fruits of the Spirit he ought to show.'

I asked her gently (it's easy to hurt when you're trying to help), 'But Peggy, are you demanding more of him than you demand of yourself? Are you really doing all that you ought to do about your own spiritual life? Wouldn't it be better to ask God to show you your failures and let Him deal with your husband as He sees best?'

She looked surprised, then angry, then ashamed. She answered slowly, 'I see what you mean. I've been thinking I was the good one. I was making all the sacrifices. When actually, I've been very critical. Yes, I'm the one who needs to make some changes.'

'But I love the Lord and I want to serve Him,' someone says. Good. Then do what He commanded. Servants don't choose what they are to do. They do what they're told. The best service you can ever do for God is to have a Christian home. So obey your husband. Let that home be a source of blessing to the whole world.

It may be your husband will let you do some Christian service in your home. You could have child evangelism classes, or a five-day club. You could win that lonely neighbor to the Lord over a cup of coffee. You could choose that rowdy neighborhood kid to be your special project. Lead him to Christ and help him get established in his Christian life. There are many ways to serve the Lord without leaving your home.

It's true that most of a woman's service to God will be plain, hard, physical work. That's probably true for a man as well. If you read Proverbs 31 and Isaiah 58 concerning a woman's ministries, you'll get the strong impression that the Christian woman works very hard, doing things with her hands to serve the Lord. Even if your husband will not permit any outward Christian service, you still serve God when you love Him and praise Him.

'But I made a mistake when I married him,' says another. The Bible plainly forbids marriage between the lost and saved, unequal yokes. But as plainly, it teaches that when a man and a woman are united in marriage, even if one is unsaved, the marriage is not broken except by fornication.

?What God hath joined together,? Matthew 19:6 says, ?let not man put asunder.? God joined the two together. God Himself performs the miracle of making of one flesh a man and a woman. Because He joined them, they are joined for life."

And so we finish another program from Elizabeth Handford's book, ME? OBEY HIM? It is my prayer that this very difficult matter of submission to our husbands may become a matter of prayer in your life and obedience, and I'm sure that it will then become a matter of joy.

Lisa Barry: The series we've been listening to for these last two weeks is available for you to purchase. And you can call for purchasing information.

But just before we go I want to tell you about an exciting new line of greeting cards that features the writing of Elisabeth Elliot. Say goodbye to trite verses. These are biblically solid and tenderhearted. They cost $2.75 each or you can purchase them in a set of 16 for $40. You'll love them. Give us a call for more information. Our phone number is 1-800-759-4JOY. That's 1-800-759-4569. Or you can write to Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. That's Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Our Web address is gatewaytojoy.org. Today's program has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow, we have the conclusion of this series on submission, with the bottom line question: Does it work? It's all coming up next time on Gateway to Joy.