Elisabeth Elliot: Would you rather receive a crown of life in the hereafter or would you prefer to receive a husband or a wife here and now, even if it were against God's will?

Lisa Barry: Now isn't that a heavy question. But I have to admit, I've seen more than a few couples grasp for that earthly relationship in haste. Why, because the grass seems so much greener on the other side. We want to be married so badly that our reason and common sense get all goofed up. Being single doesn't agree with many people but as we'll find out today, living with unfulfilled desires is the only way to go if it's God's way. Let's find out more from Elisabeth Elliot as we begin this Wednesday edition of Gateway To Joy.

Being single doesn't agree with a lot of people, but as we'll find out today, living with unfulfilled desires is the only way to go, if it's God's way. Let's find out more from Elisabeth Elliot as we begin this Wednesday edition of Gateway To Joy.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says, "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking today again about the trials of singleness.

I think maybe we'd better go back to the definition of a trial. A trial is the subjection of a person or thing to a test or examination. How are you doing on your exams with God? What is He testing you on today? A trial is the state or fact of being tried by suffering.

What's my definition of suffering? Very simple, having what you don't want or wanting what you don't have. A whole lot of you married women have what you don't want. You think you married the wrong man. As a friend of mine said, and she'd been married just three weeks when she called up a friend of hers and she said, "Oh, dear! I've married the wrong man!" Her friend said, "Join the club."

There're a whole lot of you, who wish you could marry just about any man. You would love to be married. We're talking about singleness. The great question is, "Do you have what you don't want? Do you want what you don't have?" That is suffering. The Lord is asking you to pass the test of acceptance of suffering. A trial is especially a test of one's virtue, faith or patience by being subjected to affliction or temptation. It is a cross. The cross cuts across our human nature, doesn't it.

James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man" or "Happy is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." Would you rather receive a crown of life in the hereafter or would you prefer to receive a husband or a wife here and now, even if it were against God's will? We have to examine our consciences, don't we.

In the Book of Lamentations, chapter 3, we read this: "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust. There may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever: though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."

Am I speaking today to someone who is suffering grief? Perhaps it has nothing to do with singleness, some other area in your life. Has it occurred to you that God brings grief sometimes? That's what the Bible says. "Though He brings grief," in verse 32, "He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love."

Now think of a mother and a child, or a father and a little child. You have to bring grief to that child every now and then, don't you? If you are going to civilize this little barbarian, it's going to take a paddle. It's going to take not allowing him to have another lollipop. It's going to take insisting that he go to bed at a certain time, when he would like to stay up and play with his toy train. Grief. Why? Because you love him.

God brings grief to us, too, because He knows the exact measure of grief that we need in order to be tested. Singleness is one of those tests. He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. Back up to verse 25 again. "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him." Let's remember what God does is always good.

I have a letter here. I am so thankful for these letters that I get. "In 1982," she says, "at the age of 30, the Lord (as I was studying His Word) impressed upon my heart the gift of singleness as His personal gift to me. We were studying 1 Samuel at the time. When I came to 1 Samuel 3:18, it was as if the Lord spoke those words to me. 'It is the Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him.'

"The emphasis for me then, as well as since that day, has been upon the word 'Let.' This coincides with several principles that you laid forth. A woman must answer to God by her acceptance of singleness, seeking to know Him in it and converting it to good by a peaceful 'Yes, Lord,' rather than by 'No.' This principle has come to life in practical, daily terms in my life. There's absolutely no substitute for 'In acceptance lieth peace,' as Amy Carmichael has said.

"You also said, 'To follow Him is to lose nothing in the long run and to gain much.' I have, yes, at times, struggled with the long-rangeness of the single life, especially as I see friends marry and babies born and others' children raised. There is that part of me that would like to experience those womanly aspects of life, but--and this is the positive--I have come to the place where I am willing to have what God wants for my life.

"If it weren't for the gift of singleness, I wouldn't be able to be teaching God's Word to other women. I wouldn't be able to spend long hours in studying God's Word in preparation. I wouldn't have the freedom to work long and varied hours as an ICU nurse, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go out myself this summer as a short-term medical missionary to West Africa in obedience to God's call. To follow Him is indeed to lose nothing and to gain much."

Thank you, Kathy, for that most encouraging word. I do hope that there are many with ears to hear.

Yesterday, I gave you that prayer by Amy Carmichael:

"And shall I pray Thee, 'Change Thy will, my Father,' until it be according unto mine? But no, Lord, no. That never shall be. Rather, I pray Thee, 'Blend my human will with Thine.'"

This is one of the poems that meant so much to me when I really didn't think that God was ever going to give me a husband.

The second stanza says, "And work in me to will and do Your pleasure, till all within me is peaceful, reconciled. Tarry content my well Beloved's leisure, at last, at last, even as a weaned child."

Another letter: "The Lord gave me ears to hear the first command, 'Women are to love their husbands.' This was a command to love my husband. It is amazing how all of the principles apply directly to our relationship with the Lord as His bride. I need to remember that He is my first ministry." She's talking about Christ as her husband all the way through.

"I need to remember that He is my first ministry, that any spiritual children He may give comes second, and that He is my God-given leader. As I come under His authority, I teach my spiritual children to honor His authority. The best thing I can do for my spiritual children is to love my husband, Christ, to adapt to Him, to fit into His plans and to pour out my life for Him, to show Him gratitude and to let Him take care of me and to trust Him. What a comfort to know that my Maker is my husband. He is intimately acquainted with all my ways and has promised to supply all my needs. What a glorious Lord we serve. I need to meditate on these truths, to remember whose I am."

You might be interested to know that the lady who wrote that letter is now married, so you really never do know what God has up His sleeve. But she had learned a crucial spiritual lesson in recognizing the fact that her Maker is her husband. That was a very comforting fact to me when I was widowed--as well as before I was ever married--that I was not without a husband. My Maker is my husband. He is a totally perfect and loving and flawless husband.

We who are married to human men can certainly tell you single folks that there ain't no such thing as a perfect husband. All the glorious things that you may imagine are going to happen if you manage to find that perfect husband, some of those are just not going to be on the list. You accept the fact that you marry a sinner and you accept the gift that God gives you.

If God is giving you the gift of singleness just for today, will you trust Him until suppertime?

Lisa Barry: This series has been so helpful to me, even though, I'm no longer single. The principle of discontentment is so universal, and certainly not exclusive to being without a mate. That's the beauty of the Holy Spirit, he can take what some might think is a seemingly irrelevant topic and draw out a very relevant application. We pray that this kind of ministry happens every day. And it does when you pray. We covet those requests on our behalf and we thank God for your commitment to do that. We also thank God for those of you who help us out financially. We don't ask for more than we need, just enough for each day. But for that to happen, it requires that everyone do their part. Can we count on you? Thanks in advance from all of us at Gateway To Joy. Here's our address:

Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, NE 68501. That's Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll free 1-800-759-4JOY. That?s 1-800-759-4569. Our Internet address is gatewaytojoy.org.

Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible. Tomorrow, Elisabeth talks about the need to reach out to others, so I hope you'll be back with us then for the next Gateway To Joy.