Elisabeth Elliot: "But come now, honestly. How many of us have especially studied the best that can be found on how to be a real father?"

Lisa Barry: Isn't that the truth? The one job that is the toughest by far has no job requirements whatsoever. No schooling. No apprenticeship. No exams. No nothing. God gave everyone a fair chance to be a parent. Unfortunately, many people haven't the slightest notion of the shaping and molding they're doing, intentionally or not.

Today on Gateway To Joy, Elisabeth shares some of the writings of her grandfather, such as she read just a minute ago. If you're a father listening today, you'll relate to and be challenged by the things shared on today's program. Stay with us as we learn from the experiences of others and learn how to apply them. Let's hear from Elisabeth now.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." Did you know that? That's in the Bible. That's in the Bible. That's what it says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, continuing my talks today on fathers and mothers.

It's hard to stick rigidly to a single subject. My title is fathers and mothers, but things do overlap, don't they? Husbands and wives. Fathers and mothers. Men and women. But this week I have tried especially to encourage the fathers, and I don't know a better way than by passing on some of my grandfather's advice.

Some of you may have heard of my great-grandfather, Henry Clay Trumbull, who wrote a book called HINTS ON CHILD TRAINING, a book highly recommended. He was rather a remarkable father, the father of my grandmother on my father's side. I never knew him, of course, but that little book is available. You can call Gateway To Joy for information about that.

I know you're going to say, "How many grandfathers have you got who wrote books?" Well, three as far as I know. One of them was my great-great-grandfather. Then there was my great-grandfather, and my grandfather.

The book that I want to read from to you today is called FATHER AND SON, written by my grandfather, whom I knew very well, a dear, wonderful, gentle man, my father's father. A very godly man. He wrote this little book called FATHER AND SON: AN INTIMATE STUDY. Chapter 1 is called "Preparing for Fatherhood."

"What is it to be a father, anyway? What is the father's real place in the home, especially in his relation to that boy of his? What is the father for? To support the family and to chip in an occasion hint on management and to stand as a square-shouldered, competent buffer between this rude, jostling world and that group at home? All of this, indeed.

But what else? Every man of us knows that there's a lot more to fatherhood than that, yet how easy it is to become hazy as to the fine points of this wonderful task and privilege of fathering. For example, how much thorough and conscious preparation does a young man usually undertake in order to be all a father ought to be? Years to become a good engineer, chemist, doctor, teacher, preacher he will spend in elaborate, costly toil and patient sacrifice.

But come now, honestly. How many of us have especially studied the best that can be found on how to be a real father? Some of us can look back far enough now to wonder with a shiver how we ever had the nerve to undertake family duties when we were so little prepared for the fathering we now see should have been so much better than we ever managed to do it. If any of us has a bit of experience to recount that might help some other father, a lesson learned in the school of home life, especially as touching that boy, let's talk it over.

How can a man prepare for the high calling of fatherhood? Would you agree that the following are some of the ways and considerations he ought to face? He must begin young, very young. So young that when he has boys of his own, he can enter with keen sympathy into their boyhood problems through vivid memory of what such days meant to him when he looked far ahead and resolved to create no possible hereditary handicaps for the boys that might be his.

If any man of his did not begin as young as he now wishes he had, let him begin now and be grateful that our God so often most lovingly breaks through heredity, smashes its cold theories and sends His mercy like a cleansing stream, sweeping away what we feared might be passed on to the boy who is dearer to us than life.

Do you remember that encouraging word of Thomas Fuller's, a chaplain of Oliver Cromwell's time? It's a good passage for a father in all humility and gratitude to tuck away in his memory's treasures.

'Lord, I find the genealogy of my Savior strangely checkered with four remarkable changes in four immediate generations. Rehoboam begat Abijah; that is, a bad father begat a bad son. Abijah begat Asa; that is, a bad father begat a good son. Asa begat Jehoshaphat; that is, a good father and a good son. Jehoshaphat begat Jehoram; that is, a good father and a bad son. I see, Lord, from hence that my father's piety cannot be entailed. That is bad news for me. But I see also that actual impiety is not always hereditary. That is good news for my son.'

Good news, indeed, for every man as he looks into the clear eyes of his boy and resolves anew, in Christ's strength and grace, to prepare now, as never before perhaps, for right fathering. He must allow a large section of time in his life program for fatherhood. It takes time. It cannot fairly be allotted the fag ends of physical and mental vigor. To make a fair allotment requires sound thinking in advance, not a catch-as-catch-can wrestling bout, with strong-armed demands upon time after the boy is really yours.

In one home where there are two little boys, one of three and the other less than two years of age"--and I'm sure that my grandfather is talking about my father here--"the father, a young man of 26,"-my grandfather, of course, was the young man of 26. He was the father of these two little boys-"in charge of a growing and very engrossing business, takes time to tell the little chaps their good night stories and to read aloud to the busy mother chapters from Henry Clay Trumbull's HINTS ON CHILD TRAINING.

His face lighted up with the keenest interest as he told a visitor about the 25 books on child training he had already gathered. He has given time to choosing and arranging just the right pictures for the nursery. He gives time to the little boys themselves. He is in training as a father. Because he knows this, he so arranges his days that he is not forever saying, 'Ask Mother about that.' But he takes the time in which he can gladly say to the small boys, 'Come to Father now, and we'll have a story.' It is all allowed for in his day.

Another father, admittedly one of the busiest men of our time, a man of worldwide interests, great productivity in the writing of important books and away from home in public work about half his time, has for years made it his rule to take one Sunday a month out of his crowded schedule of speeches to devote to his home, in family fellowship and family attendance upon the services of the church. And on all his weekday home evenings, a certain time after dinner is carefully set apart before he goes to his study, as the children's own time.

One of our ablest American lawyers has set apart on Sundays that whole day for his children, three hours between church services. Then they have the right of way. Their claims are held inviolate and sacred."

So the first thing a father has to do is to start early. The second thing is to allow a large section of time in his life program for fatherhood.

"Thirdly, he should get clear and act uncompromisingly on the foundations of personal faith in Christ, so that he will have his own footing on solid ground and be well able to lead the boys securely and satisfyingly. That means Bible study, a clear stand for Christ, membership in a church, and well-defined reasons for the faith that he holds. Let him be fully assured that he is crippled in advance as a father, if he doesn't know what he ought to know about Christ and doesn't do what he ought to do to make his testimony for Christ valid and effective.

A question was asked of a boy who was discussing with an older friend the boy's religious convictions, which were very hazy. 'How does your father look at these questions?' asked the boy. 'Well, I don't exactly know,' the other replied. 'Lately, he's got hold of something or other. Something new, I guess. New thought, maybe. But not just that. And he doesn't say much, but reads a lot. He seems to have something or other, but I don't know what.'

Do you wonder that the boy was groping, too? Have you considered what it means to a growing boy to be certain chiefly of one thing in his religious thinking, and that is that his father has something or other but he doesn't know what?

The fourth thing. He must prepare to keep young. My father used to take me hunting with him when I was so small that he would give me a lift by carrying me on his gun case, where I stood with one foot on either side of his hand, and holding with both my hands to his shoulder.

In his practice as a country physician then, he used to take me on long rides, telling me about his work and showing me some of his surgical results. He taught me to manage horses and to ride when I was eight. He took me on an Adirondack deer hunt when I was fifteen and was more elated than I when I got a buck. He boxed with me and gave me all I wanted when he was fifty and I was a college boy.

Now that it is my turn, do you mind if I say that it seems to me that I still ought to be preparing for the fatherhood that I greatly desire should increasingly mean something to my two college boys, and the girls, too? By work and play with them on their own terms."

Lisa Barry: I'm sorry to say that the book Elisabeth read from today isn't one we have available, but the next best thing would be to have a copy of this series. You'll find this series, entitled ESPECIALLY FOR FATHERS, along with many other resources, in our Father's Day package. Don't get Dad the same old tie this year. Put resources in his hands that will help challenge and encourage him in this most important role.

Here's where to write: Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call 1-800-759-4JOY. Our Internet ministry address is gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Monday Elisabeth talks more about a father's calling. That's next time on Gateway To Joy.