Elisabeth Elliot: I had a very happy childhood. I grew up in a family of six children. The Lord saw to it that my parents were faithful in giving us work to do. That work was a part of our happy childhood. I am absolutely convinced that the child who works enjoys his play far better than the child who does nothing but play.

Lisa Barry: So why don't some parents get their children to work? Well, I think it's because parents are tired. If you want your children to work, then you have to be ready for the oldest one to complain that he or she has more than the fair share of the work. You'll also find the four-year-old will agree to do every job, but it's done in a way that only a four-year-old could dream up. Then there's the two-year-old, who is eager to help, but discovers bubbles are more fun in her hair than on the sponge.

So what's a parent to do? Well, they usually give up, because it's hard work to train our children consistently, day in and day out. Elisabeth Elliot has some helpful hints, though, for you tired trainers. Stay tuned. Gateway To Joy is next.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, continuing my talks on the holy work of mothering.

Are you teaching your children to work? If not, why not? Are you too affluent? Is the child handicapped? Is nobody around to care whether those children work? Parents often say, "I want my child to have a happy childhood."

I had a very happy childhood. I grew up in a family of six children. The Lord saw to it that my parents were faithful in giving us work to do. That work was a part of our happy childhood. I am absolutely convinced that the child who works enjoys his play far better than the child who does nothing but play.

Some of you have raised teenagers who have never had to take any serious work at home. They have not had to take responsibility, and now you're wondering why you can't get your children to work.

I was listening to a television program one time on the subject of how to get teenagers to work. Of course, the experts on the panel didn't go back and suggest that they needed to be taught to work from the age of two or three on up. You don't start when a child is twelve or thirteen teaching them to work. So as usual, there was a lot of nonsense that was propagated from that panel.

But at one point in the show, a woman stood up and she said, "If I tell my son to take out the garbage, he says, 'I will take out the garbage when I want to.'" Well, I was tickled to death when a woman in the audience leaped to her feet and she said, "If my son said that to me, he would be wearing that garbage."

You must teach your children to work. There's no such thing as a happy childhood without work. Play will be infinitely enhanced as a reward for work well done. Many conscientious parents are very eager that their children should have every advantage in sports and music lessons and things of that nature, which are done outside the home, as though that is the most important training for life. I don't believe it is.

Home is a microcosm of heaven. Love is the rule. Courtesy is the behavior. Servanthood is our task. Love. Courtesy. Servanthood. I really doubt that those three things are likely to be taught in any depth in sports or music lessons.

Please don't misunderstand me. I think sports are great for people who want sports and can do them. I think music lessons are wonderful. I'm very, very grateful that my mother insisted that I learn to play the piano. I hated to practice. I wanted to quit, and I quit several times. But she made me go back. She found different teachers for me at times. But to this day, I'm very grateful that I was forced to learn to play the piano, because I find great pleasure in being able to sit down and just play the great hymns. I can't really play much of anything else, but at least I can do that.

But what kind of training for life are your children receiving? Do they have routine jobs? I would certainly hope so. Every child can learn to make his bed, pick up his clothes, put away his toys, hang his towel straight in the bathroom. But what is the child learning by way of serving the rest of the family?

Do you pay your children for doing routine jobs? Surely not for making beds, tidying closets and rooms, clearing the table, washing dishes or taking out the garbage. I hope that you're not paying them for those things. Those are things they're going to have to be doing for the rest of their lives.

My friend, Arlita Winston, told me that they had a system where the children, of course, did all of those things, without expecting any pay. But they also had some big jobs, for which they would be paid. And Arlita and her husband Joe would write out a 3x5 card, describing the job, and the children could choose any card that they wanted, or choose not to choose a card. They didn't have to do these jobs. But if they did want to be paid, then they had to do these jobs.

When it was done, the job had to be presented to one of the parents to make sure that it had been done properly. If it wasn't, it was done over again on the child's own time. If it was done properly, the child was paid. He was paid the going rate that the parents would have had to pay a professional to do that job. Chopping wood. Sanding floors. Doing all sorts of big jobs that the children could learn as they were growing up. She said, "Then they had to buy their own clothes with the money they had been paid."

Allowances, I believe, should be independent of regular chores. Many of you know the name Jean Lush. She has some very practical suggestions about these things, and I'm not just dishing out my opinions. But this is what Jean Lush said: "Explain the job repeatedly. Check up on the quality of work. In order to teach a child how to make a bed, you make the bed with the child. Say to him, for example, 'Look, I've got the wrinkles on my side.'" So then the child can pull the wrinkles.

Now you working mothers, you are saying, "I have no time to work with my children when I come home." It would seem to me that because you do work, this would be a golden opportunity to make it very clear to your children that it is impossible for you to do all the housework. If you're going to have a happy, well-knit family, the children are going to have to learn to work. They're going to have to have the table set when you get home and the clutter put away before you get there.

Be cheerful as you work. Like the Seven Dwarves, whistle as you work. Sing. Tell stories. Show them that you love work. Well, I can just hear someone saying, "But I don't! I don't love work." Well, you too can learn, especially as you learn to see everything you are required to do as holy work for the glory of God.

You serve the Lord Christ. That's what Paul reminded the slaves-the slaves who were terribly treated, the slaves who had the worst, dirtiest kind of work and the most difficult work, and no pay. Paul said to them, "You do serve the Lord Christ." Why not write that on a little card and stick it up on your refrigerator or put it over your sink, so that you can remember that the washing of dishes is holy work?

Fathers, teach your child how to lift the hoe. Mothers, teach your children how to stack the dishes, how to wring out a dishcloth. I'm glad that my mother taught me to wring out the dishcloth as hard as your little hands can wring it. Then spread it out, perhaps hang it over the faucet or whatever place you want to put it, so that it has a chance to dry and doesn't get sour.

She taught me to do things thoroughly. When you clean the room, you clean it thoroughly. When you pick up your toys, you pick up all of them. When you make your bed, you make the bed smooth, without the wrinkles. If you're going to wring out a dishcloth or a washcloth, wring it out as hard as you can. Hang up the towels.

If you teach neatness, you'll be teaching a love of neatness, a habit of neatness, a glad willingness to help keep a neat house, where people can be at peace without all the clutter.

You can do it. You really can. Remember that the Lord will help you, if you want to do it. And be cheerful and encouraging.

I saw my granddaughter, Christiana, sitting at the kitchen table. She was being home schooled and she burst into tears over arithmetic. I just happened to be there at the time, and I heard her say-heard her throw the book down and I heard her say, "I can never do this. I'll never be able to do arithmetic. I can't do it." Valerie's quiet voice said, "You can do it, Christiana. We'll go over this again."

When I was teaching Evangeline to hold a needle and to use a thimble, she did a good job. Her sister had a harder time. She didn't have the same kind of manual dexterity. I realized that there's more patience required for one child than for another.

Inspect their work. Check on it. Praise them. Thank them. Teach them to set the table, to straighten stuff on the coffee table, put the books back in the bookcase, and the spines even with the edge of the shelf. Doesn't it sort of give you a feeling of peace and happiness when you walk into a neat room, as opposed to a messy one? I do believe that the Lord can give you creative ideas about how to teach your children to work.

Remember to remind them continually that you serve the Lord Christ in the way you make your bed, in the way you pick up the toys. May the Lord give us eyes to see the holiness of mothering.

Lisa Barry: I think I'd better listen to this program again. And again. And again. But that's the beauty of having a helpful program within reach. Maybe you know someone who would benefit from this program. Possibly you know someone who will benefit from next week's series.

Well, here's something to consider. For the price of $30, you can get the next four weeks of tape series, a brand-new book by Glenda Revell called WITH LOVE FROM A MOTHER'S HEART, a flip calendar and helpful booklets. Just think of how far a packet like that would go to help friends and family you know.

To purchase yours, just send $30, along with your request, to Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll-free: 1-800-759-4JOY. That's 1-800-759-4569. Our Internet ministry address is gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow Elisabeth talks about discipline, order and love right here on Gateway To Joy.