Lisa Barry: Can you think of a few necessary evils in your life? Maybe at this time of year you're thinking about how hot it is and what a chore it is to endure such extreme temperatures. Or maybe you're 38 and not married, facing a daily bout of loneliness. Wherever you are today and whatever has come into your life, Elisabeth Elliot will tell you it's a given. All of our necessary evils are given simply because they are a part of our lives. But how are we to respond to these unwelcome intrusions? Elisabeth has an answer that will come as a pleasant surprise. Find out what as we embark on a brand-new series today entitled "The Givens and the Not-Givens." Let's get started.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, giving my talks this week a title of "The Givens and the Not-Givens." The word is "givens." I don't suppose there's any such word in the dictionary. And the "not-givens." This has been one of the spiritual principles that God has been teaching me throughout my life. There are things which God has given to us and there are things which God does not give us. Many times there are things which we would like to be given, but they are among God's not-givens.

The gift of a winter morning struck me one day as a given. I would say it strikes me quite often. I get up usually before dawn. The gift of a winter morning, the velvet black of the night, cooled almost imperceptibly to a deep blue. There were a few pure sharp points of light piercing the blue, until there was only one star left, the morning star.

As I stood at my window and watched this beautiful progression from the dark velvet blue to the light that began to rise, until there was just that one bright morning star, I thought of my father. Very often when he would be shaving in the bathroom, he would be singing, "I've found a friend in Jesus; He's everything to me. He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul. He is the lily of the valley, the bright and morning star, all I need to cleanse and make me fully whole."

I hope some of you listeners have an old hymnbook that has that in it. The title would be "I've Found a Friend in Jesus," or perhaps the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star. All I need to cleanse and make me fully whole.

It was wonderful the way our parents taught us hymns. Not only did we sing them every morning after breakfast as we gathered in the living room before we went off to school and my father went to work, but my father would sing around the house very often. My mother would sit down sometimes in the afternoon, play the piano and sing. Several of us took piano lessons and so we began to learn to play and sing together, too. To this day, whenever we get together as a family, we children (of course, our parents are long since with the Lord), what do we do? Well, we sing. That's one of the things we do.

On that particular winter morning, the moon still shone to the west as the slow brightening of the eastern horizon announced the imminent rise of the sun. I saw it as a gift, or one of God's beautiful givens. So beautiful, so pure, so mysterious and so perfectly sure and certain. I knew that the sun would rise. We can absolutely count on it. It may not be visible, except to make the sky lighter if the sky is completely overclouded. But we know for sure that it's absolutely dependable and it's always going to rise, until that day when the Lord comes and sends different commandments.

Here's a letter from a girl in Peru. "Dear Mrs. Elliot, Wow! The Lord certainly is using you in unique and wonderful ways. Thank you very much for your letter and for the gift of your book, THE PATH OF LONELINESS. I have read every single word and feel as though someone has finally given me the wake-up call that I've needed for so long. I had never actually considered loneliness or any other hardship as a gift that I could offer back to the Lord for His use. But I understand now how biblical that really is.

The explanation you gave on how one may actually go about offering loneliness to the Lord was also very helpful. I realize that it wasn't a magic formula, but in doing what you suggested I have found a peace and a purpose that I didn't have before. Granted, I do still long for marriage and wonder if the Lord has that in store for me. But I can honestly say that I am not currently experiencing the grueling pangs of loneliness that had become my daily life.

To answer your questions, no, you did not sound harsh or unfeeling in your letter. You sounded frank and forward, seasoned with heartfelt understanding, just as I imagined you would. I know you're right and I thank you. But am I a bit afraid? Yes. I have to admit it, and that because I realize that all of this does not mean that the road ahead will be easy. I do, however, have a renewed appreciation of what the Lord is doing and renewed anticipation of what He will do with this poor missionary. I'd love to keep in touch with you, if I may."

And Psalm 84:11 is His very special promise to me. Those words are: "No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."

Now we all would think that marriage is a good thing, except those of you who think that marriage is a bad thing. Perhaps you're in what may be a very difficult marriage. But generally speaking, we would say marriage is a good thing. Only God knows whether it is one of His givens for you. For this girl, so far it's a not given. Do you understand what I'm saying? There are the givens and there are the not-givens. I think there are two classes of people. There are those who complain about what they haven't got and there are those who thank the Lord for what they have got.

Thank God for the givens in your life, whether they are givens which you yourself would have chosen or not. These are what God has given. These are His gifts. So He is asking you, "Will you trust Me? Will you praise Me? Will you learn that My will is best?" I do trust that the Lord will speak to some of you who have perhaps been discontented.

Discontentment, of course, is just one of those temptations that our enemy the devil brings to us. If he can make us dissatisfied with what God has given and remind us daily of what God has not given and even perhaps persuade us that God is cheating us of the one thing that will make us happy, we're right back in the Garden of Eden with Eve. Who was it that whispered to her about the not-given? The one thing in that garden that Eve was convinced, because of the suggestion of the serpent, was the one thing of which God was cheating her. Of course, she immediately decided she had to have that one thing. You know the result. Because she disobeyed God, she brought sin and sorrow and death and destruction into the world.

A young woman came to talk to me about the fact that she was extremely lonely. She had moved to Massachusetts and didn't seem to find the neighbors nearly as friendly as they were in the South. No, I guess it was in California where they had lived before, where everybody was laid-back and friendly and they could have block parties and barbecues and just general friendship. Well, if you come to Massachusetts, you may be in for a shock. We New Englanders, we do take a lot of flack for being so cold and so distant.

So my heart went out to this woman. I thought having been in California, it would be a severe discipline for her to have to accept the lack of social relationships here in Massachusetts. Well, what could I say to her? I couldn't tell her that God was going to make those people friendly all of a sudden, but I could remind her that she had a different set of givens in Massachusetts than she had in California. If she could just accept them with thanksgiving, realizing that it's the wisdom of God that appoints where we are and what lessons we need to learn, God would give her peace in her acceptance. I think she went out of here encouraged. I certainly trust so.

I do want to encourage all of you to realize that He loves you with an everlasting love. If you love someone, you want to give them what you think is good for them. We don't always know. Once in a while people give me fruitcakes. Well, I don't like fruitcakes, but I certainly appreciate the sweet kind thought behind it. What God gives us is exactly suited to what God knows we need.

Here's a letter from a woman who says, "I've dealt a lot with broken romantic relationships and have experienced the loneliness and agony that they bring. This letter, however, is a letter of rejoicing. The Lord's faithfulness and goodness have been poured out on my life. I'd like to briefly share what has happened. I feel that you are a part of this story, because through the years I've relied so much on your teaching.

I'm a Christian single woman who has desired to be married and have a family since I was a young girl. This past May I turned 40, never married, no family. I've been actively involved in church since I was 18 in various ministries. I met and dated several individuals, but nothing ever worked out. I went through my 20's and then my 30's. Through the years, most of my friends got married, which left me feeling very lonely and alone."

Well, I haven't got time to finish that letter today. I will finish it tomorrow. What do you think she is going to say next? Is she going to talk about the givens or complain about the not-givens? I hope you can guess right.

Lisa Barry: This series is going to be a timely reminder to be content and to wait on God. Having a copy of this weekly tape might be just what's needed to maintain that focus. The title of the series is "The Givens and the Not-Givens." The cost is $7. You can send that, along with your request, to Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or call toll-free: 1-800-759-4JOY. That's 1-800-759-4569. Our Internet ministry address is gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow Elisabeth talks more about the value of accepting all our circumstances, no matter how unsettling they may be. That's next time on Gateway To Joy.