Elisabeth Elliot: I would love to tell every miserable and complaining woman that she can have joy and peace in the midst of an unchanged marriage.

Lisa Barry: I wonder how many of you listening to this program today feel you?re in a hopeless situation when it comes to your marriage. Does it seem as if things have gone from bad to worse and the wounds just keep getting deeper and more painful? Or maybe you don?t feel anything anymore. Could it be that you?ve closed yourself off from the pain? Today on Gateway to Joy, Elisabeth Elliot is going to read a powerful letter from a woman who had given up on her marriage. She tried every self-help idea that came down the pike to no avail. Find out what happened to change things around as we begin this Monday edition of Gateway to Joy. Here?s Elisabeth.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That?s what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking all during this week about a mighty fortress. Many of you know that that is a great hymn written by Martin Luther. I just love that hymn. It is so fortifying, so strengthening, so calming in the midst of life?s crises.

I have quite a variety of illustrations of this marvelous hymn. As you know, I get all kinds of letters from my radio listeners. I?m so grateful for them, because in reading them I am very often instructed and reminded of what God is wanting to teach me. So I do want to thank you for your letters. Thank you for your prayers. Just remember that I am very fallible. I am far from being as saintly as I wish I were, so I do need your prayers.

But under this heading of "A Mighty Fortress," I have a wonderful story of a transformed marriage. You may be wondering, "Well, now what?s the connection?" So let me read to you the first verse of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God."

"A mighty fortress is our God; a bulwark never failing. Our Helper, He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing." And if there?s one illustration of the flood of mortal ills prevailing, it?s all the sad stories that I get of broken marriages or miserable marriages or people who write in and tell me that even though they love God, they hate their spouse, which of course is a total lie. The Bible clearly says that if you say that you love God and hate your brother (or your husband or anybody else), you?re a liar. So here is an illustration of the flood of mortal ills that are prevailing, which have been allayed by the mighty fortress.

This woman says, "I would love to tell every miserable and complaining woman that she can have joy and peace in the midst of an unchanged marriage. I was depressed. I was on Prozac, and God prescribed for me only His truth, to which I had hardened my heart."

She said, "I left a message to a Christian counselor on my phone. But then God said, ?I will counsel you with My eye upon you.?" You know that the word "counsel" or "counselor" occurs more than 150 times in the Bible. Yet our first impulse is very often to rush off to a counselor, a professional counselor, who may charge you a very high price for the time that he or she may give to you. Here was a woman who was ready to go to a Christian counselor. The Lord reminded her that He Himself would counsel her with His eye upon her. Psalm 32:8 is the reference for that, if you?d like to look it up.

She said, "I had told many women, ?God is enough,? and yet I was beginning to realize that I didn?t feel as though God really was enough. I grabbed my concordance. I looked up the verse that God had given me, Psalm 32:8, and I realized that He is my wonderful counselor. He was sending me a message. He was telling me that He would counsel me. And having told countless women that God is enough and that His Word contains our answers, He wasn?t going to allow me to run to man. Elisabeth, I am an extremely slow learner, but God is longsuffering and gracious. This was proved to this obstinate sheep again and again.

For three long, hard, yet life-restoring years, Jesus counseled me and led me in the way I should go, which of course led down the Calvary road. Death is painful. Through the continual dying to my wants and wishes, God brought life and joy in Him. He changed me, not my husband. In fact, my husband is still the same.

When I surrendered to the fact that there are no second causes; yes, Hannah has mentored me for many years." That?s the Hannah in the Bible who learned how to pray. "When I surrendered to the fact that there are no second causes and that what I thought couldn?t possibly be God?s love?it certainly didn?t feel or look like love, but it had to be?then the slow process of choosing life began.

You quote Amy Carmichael?s words, ?In acceptance lies peace.? The Lord led me to Job so many times. In Job 22:21, I read, ?Yield now and be at peace with Him.? Then verse 22, ?Receive instruction from His mouth? (which we have in the Bible) ?and establish His words in your heart.?

This verse confirmed the words you repeated so often. As I yielded, accepted what He had given and not given, I received peace and goodness. Your words ?Do the next thing? were also a motto I began to live by.

Margaret Jensen?s mother told her basically the same thing. Margaret Jensen is the author of a charming book called FIRST WE HAVE COFFEE. When Margaret was a girl, she thought she was going to die over some problem connected with a teenage boy. So when she came home, she told her mother that she just thought she was going to die. Her mother?s advice was, ?Ja, Ja, Margaret. Iron while you die.?

Both these admonitions," says my correspondent, "brought me out of my pity-party chair into continuing on with life. The Lord also extended ?Do the next thing? with a motto of His own for me: ?Move on.? Physically, I had gotten busy with whatever the next thing was. But now, while busy with the next thing, I was to move on mentally. All hurts, woes, etc., were to be taken to the cross and left there. Then I was to move on in His grace, truth and strength.

The delightful thing about God I discovered is that He allows us to be so real and human. Never once did He scream at me to pull my bootstraps up. Instead, He compassionately allowed me to feel the human sting from inflicted blows that caused pain, anger and depression. Then He would offer to take these and encourage me to trustfully give them as I moved on mentally, instead of dwelling on whatever or whomever the blow came from. Feel it, give it to God, and move on. Of course, this all has to be learned, too.

It?s a lifelong process, isn?t it, Elisabeth? Well, God never promises to fix our marriages if we walk in obedience, does He? So many books teach this, yet God wants us willing to be willing, even without this assurance beforehand."

I want to pause here in the middle of this woman?s letter and just remind you that we are not meant to be bargaining with God. We?re meant to be obedient and trustful. He may or may not do things in the way you would like Him to work them out. But let?s remember?He wants us to be willing to be willing, even without His assurance that He is going to do exactly what we ask.

She goes on to say, "I never thought I could be joyful without my craved desires, but I let Him even change my desires. I?m glad He made me such a verbal person, because in my unyielded years I complained, literally and sadly, to everyone. But now those people can look at what God has done and have hope for their own lives, despite the circumstance He has placed them in. Hooray!" she says.

Psalm 118:23: "The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes." "A year ago the Lord told me to write a book, THE JOYFUL WIFE. With God, all things are possible. From all my journals and experiences, I want to tell of what He has done for me and can and will do for other wives. Well, when He gave the title, He also gave a verse: ?Faithful is He who calls you, and He shall bring it to pass? (I Thessalonians 5:24).

Elisabeth, I?m not a writer. I tried to write in obedience, and it was pretty funny. I forgot to wait on His timing, though. I told you I?m a dumb sheep. Well, anyway, I tell you this because God has His plans and I would have never guessed that He would use me to write a book to give women hope in Him.

But it thrills me to think of this awesome privilege of someday getting to tell women that they don?t have to wait till their husbands change, and they don?t have to wait till their husbands decide, if it ever happens, to help make the marriage a success. Wives can choose to live in responsibility for their job as wife, heartily to the Lord, and can have joy even while pain resides next to it in the heart. God is enough."

I remind you that we have a mighty fortress, who is our God. He is "a bulwark never failing; our Helper, He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. But still our ancient foe"?and that?s Satan, of course?"doth seek to work us woe. His craft and power are great, and armed with cruel hate, on earth is not his equal." But concentrate on that mighty fortress for whatever the issue may be in your life.

Lisa Barry: Aren?t you glad to know it?s possible to live for Christ even in the midst of chaos? So often we see people or circumstances as hindrances to finding God?s will. But God has made it so that anyone who wants to live a sold-out life for Him can do so no matter what. I hope the message of today?s program has brought hope for you today. If you?d like to go deeper into this subject, I?d recommend Elisabeth?s booklet, DISCOVERING JOY THROUGH DISCIPLINE. It?s a great reminder that we have the ability to choose obedience at any given moment each day.

For information on how to purchase that, you can call us toll-free at 1-800-759-4JOY. Or you can write to Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or you can access our online resource center over the Internet at gatewaytojoy.org. Gateway to Joy is a listener-supported production of Back to the Bible.

Tomorrow Elisabeth talks about Christians around the world and the hardships they?re facing. That?s next time on Gateway to Joy.