Elisabeth Elliot: "A careful woman I ought to be, a little girl follows me. I do not dare to go astray, for fear she?ll go the self-same way. Not once can I escape her eyes. What ere she sees me do, she tries. Like me she says she's going to be, that little girl who follows me."

Lisa Barry: The words of that poem hit home for many of us, don?t they? What a strong reminder that children will learn more from what we do than what we tell them. What kind of an example are you being for your children? I have to say I?m not doing as well as I ought to be in this area. It?s always as if we have a sort of ideal we hope our children will aspire to, when in reality they only mimic what they see. That?s why Elisabeth Elliot feels so strongly about setting a good example for our children. In this next 15 minutes, let?s all take a hard look at what we?re communicating to our kids. And then let?s lay out a plan of action to alter the message for the sake of those who follow us. Stay with us for today?s edition of Gateway To Joy coming up next.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, finishing my talks this week on reflections of a granny. A grandmother has influence. A grandmother ought to take very seriously her responsibility to pray for her grandchildren. A grandmother has time for reflection, I would hope. If you don't because you're out on the golf course most of the time, or you're taking a course at a college or you're doing some other perhaps enjoyable thing, but neglecting some of the more important things, think about it. Influence. Prayer. Reflection. And instruction in righteousness.

In 2 Timothy 1:5 Paul says to the young man, Timothy, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded now lives in you also. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

I have a letter from a woman who learned to be a woman. She says, "I am 25, a housewife, a mother, and am perceived by others as decidedly feminine. What makes this unique is that seven years ago I was as rude and crude as the foulest of men. I had a filthy mouth, a filthy mind and was proud of it. Womanhood was something to be loathed. I would have preferred to have been born a man. My hair was very short. My clothes were dark. I made a point of selecting my sweaters from the men's department. My mother, not being feminine at all, didn't give me much direction, either. She had a cup that read, 'The best man for a job is a woman,' and a shirt that read, 'A woman who brings home the bacon shouldn't have to cook it.' So I had grand ideas about what I would do with my life, but alas, God's were grander.

"At 20, I found myself a Christian. Of all things, I had become a Christian! I married a godly man of great character. What did he see in me, I'm not sure, but I was 20 and I was a bride. This was a shock to many, as I always swore I'd never get married. I decided I was a woman after all, but what was a woman? What did it mean? What did God expect of me? I read the Bible and searched there for answers. I read your books. I looked to godly women for insight. All of these things were tremendously influential and my understanding and knowledge increased. Yet what I knew did not really impact my heart. So I grew out my hair--this was a big step. It was an external expression of femininity, which altered how I perceived myself. I began to dress in a manner that was more appropriate for a woman who followed Christ. I bought clothes with flowers on them. I tried quite earnestly to be a feminine woman and prayed that God would help me be the woman He intended me to be.

"Then I was pregnant. How thrilling! Of course I was going to have a son. A son should be born first. David, my husband, was the only son of an only son of an only son, and so we prayed for a son. Of course I'd have a son. In the delivery room, my child's head and shoulders had been born. The child gave a deep and lusty cry and the doctor proclaimed, 'It sounds like a boy to me.' Then her hips and legs were delivered. 'It's a girl!' 'It's a girl?' were my first words. 'Yes, a girl.' Not Christian, but Ann. I was reminded of your having Valerie in ?Let Me Be a Woman.? God knew what was best. He gave me a girl for a reason. Whatever the reason, I hadn't a clue. But I accepted my precious daughter with gratitude, and of course I loved her.

"Three months after her birth I believe God gave me insight when I questioned simply, 'What example do I want to be for her? I am a Christian woman. What do I want my daughter to absorb from me? What will she carry away from our relationship into her adult life about femininity, about a gentle and quiet spirit, about serving, about loving, about nurturing?' Yes, I believe God gave me a daughter to teach me how to be a woman. God's decision in giving me her was an answer, I am confident, to my prayer for Him to show me and teach me what it means to be a woman as He intends women to be. Finally and dramatically, my knowledge touched my heart. It may not sound like much, but I was really transformed during that time. I've still got much to learn, but those that knew me seven years ago don't recognize me now. So that is my simple story. It is a real testimony to the Lord's work in my life and may He receive the glory and honor for it."

Then she adds a P.S. "My second child wasn't Christian either, but Michelle Faith. I listen to you on KPOF and KRKS. Really, no response to this letter is necessary and I do pray for you and your ministry. God bless you. Also, words cannot express how deeply influential The Shaping of a Christian Family has been in our lives. It has become one of our standard wedding gifts to Christian couples." That's my book that tells about the home in which I grew up.

And right about the same time I received that remarkable letter, someone sent me this poem:

"A careful woman I ought to be,
a little girl follows me.
I do not dare to go astray,
for fear she'll go the selfsame way.
Not once can I escape her eyes;
whate'er she sees me do, she tries.
Like me she says she's going to be,
that little girl who follows me.
I must remember as I go
through summer sun and winter snow,
I'm molding for the years to be
that little girl who follows me."

This statement is added: "A child may not inherit his parent's talents, but he will absorb their values."

If this little girl had followed in her grandmother's footsteps, she would have been a different kind of woman. But no, God in His mercy taught her mother how to be a woman.

These have been reflections of a granny. I trust that if there are grandmothers listening to me that you will consider how important it is that you as a grandmother also demonstrate to your granddaughters what womanliness is. I'm not a different kind of Christian because I am a woman. I am a different kind of woman because I am a Christian.

Next week I want to talk about four steps to peace. Now I've often spoken on the subject of peace, but this next week it's going to be an emphasis on simplifying, economizing and living on your income, not beyond it. Because I'm a grandmother, I remember what the Great Depression was like. Things which are perfectly natural to me because I grew up having to do them, having to consider them, having to skimp here and make do there and make things over and wear hand-me-down clothes and things like that--those things are not difficult for me, because they were absolutely necessary in my growing up years back in the early 1930s. So I think maybe I, and some other grandmothers whom I will be quoting, may have some advice that will be helpful to you in simplifying, economizing and living on your income. Four steps to peace. I hope that some of you will be tuning in with pencil and paper for the things that I'm going to talk about next week.

In that same passage from 2 Timothy that I began the program with, Paul says this: "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life." Remember that phrase. What is God's calling? It is to a holy life. He has saved us and called us to a holy life, not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace. "This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the Gospel."

Lisa Barry: As we bring this week of talks to a close, I want to give you one last opportunity to purchase Elisabeth?s video entitled Forget me Not: A Grandmother?s Influence. There?s no small type to read, no complicated instructions, just a straightforward message to grandmothers that they still have a lot to give. Who wouldn?t appreciate getting a gift like that? After all, what can you give to a grandmother that she doesn?t already have? But encouragement is something she?ll always need. The cost of the video is $18.50 and to purchase it you can send that amount along with a note to:

Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. If you?d like information on how to receive Elisabeth's newsletter or how you can help out with the financial needs of this program, we can assist you with that too. It?s a team effort and we need you. God is using your generosity to extend the outreach of this program and we are humbly grateful for that. To contact us, you can write to this address: Gateway to Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Or you can call 1-800-759-4JOY. That?s 1-800-759-4569. Our Web address is gatewaytojoy.org. And with more and more of you on the Internet, you?ll quickly discover the most convenient way to get the information you want from Gateway To Joy--things like program transcripts, upcoming topics, and all of the books and tapes that we offer. Again that Internet address is gatewaytojoy.org.

Gateway To Joy has been a production of Back to the Bible. Monday Elisabeth begins a brand new series on "How to Serve God in Old Age." Tune in to find out more next time on Gateway To Joy.