Elisabeth Elliot: The statistics are very plain that divorces have increased enormously since women began working. They have the possibility of financial independence. They have power. They begin to feel alienated from homemaking and more and more drawn to the power and the money of the business world.

Lisa Barry: Logic doesn't support the idea that if you work, you'll definitely get divorced. But logic does support the idea that your chances go up dramatically. Marriage is hard in itself. But add to it the pressures of the job, the demands of the family and everything in-between, you've got a plate full of responsibility that many just can't stomach. Find out more about this phenomenon next on Gateway To Joy.

Elisabeth Elliot: "You are loved with an everlasting love." That's what the Bible says. "And underneath are the everlasting arms." This is your friend Elisabeth Elliot, talking again today about a woman's work. I have been speaking to you women who work for a living-who who work for money.

I was reading to you from an article by Harry Stein that appeared in Esquire Magazine back in April of 1985, speaking about the fact that even for men there have to be some choices. He had hoped to be a Pulitzer Prize journalist, and he was seeing that hope fade into the distance now that he had become a father. And he said it was worth it.

He said this important statement. I think it is very important in this day and age, "For men also there can no longer be the pretense of having it all. No responsibility bears more heavily upon us than parenthood."

So we've got to make careful distinctions, haven't we? We can go for the power and the money, and we may lose the children. I know that most of you are not out there primarily for power and lots of money. You are simply trying to make a living, trying to keep body and soul together. And for some of you, it's the only thing that it appears you can do at this point in order to support yourself and your children. If you made your children your first priority, then you would have no means whatsoever of support.

Well, let me just make one short statement here. God might have a different way for you if you ask Him about it. I don't know, and that is not my business. It is my business to encourage those of you who stay home to keep on staying home as long as you possibly can.

But we must take our questions to God. "What is the work that You have given me to do?" And if God has given you this job, and you believe that this is what you have to do, then the important thing is that you do it in God's way.

Some of you may be saying, "Well, I am not really sure that this is the work that God has given me to do. I only know that it is my job, and I don't have a choice." The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Lean not unto thine own understanding. Lean not unto the world's understanding.

Superficially, it may look as if there is no possible choice, but you never know what God has up His sleeve. You never know until you actively seek His will. And if there are some women to whom I am speaking today that think it is possible that God might want them to be staying home, whether you have children or don't have children. A Christian woman who stays home can be available to do all kinds of things that the world desperately needs if she is not doing an eight-hour a day job. So it might just be that that's God's will for you. So I say to you, "Pray about it." And remember to do the work that God has given you to do in a Christian way.

I have told you about my friend Betty Green, one of the founders of the Missionary Aviation Fellowship, one of the most ladylike feminine women that I have ever known. And Betty Green was a pilot during World War II. She was ferrying bombers. I can't think of a less feminine-type job, and yet Betty maintained her femininity. And when I asked her how she made it in a man's world and succeeded in maintaining this womanliness, she just smiled and said, "I made up my mind at the very beginning that if I was going to make it in a man's world, I had to be a lady."

Well, let me ask you who have husbands, "How does your husband view your work?" It is very important to ask this. If he thinks it is necessary--in fact, your husband maybe insisting that you keep the job when you yourself would like to stay home--then he needs to think through some things. And that is not your job to make him do that.

But some of you may have husbands who have doubts about the wisdom of your working as you do. Some of your husbands may actually feel that you are in competition with them. What if you make more money than your husband does? What does that do to him emotionally?

Maybe he has never said anything about it, but it might be a question that needs to be raised at some point. Not whether he feels competitive, but just how does he feel about your job? Is he glad that you have it? Is it his idea of what a woman should be doing? Does he really want you to continue? Is there a way that you could quit your job? Would he allow this? Would he really be glad and relieved if you did suggest this possibility?

Now I can remember when I was married to my second husband, Addison Leitch, there were some tricky things in that marriage. He was 18 years older than I was and he had a very distinguished career. He was a writer. He had written eight books on theology and philosophy. He was a very popular speaker. He was a regular columnist for CHRISTIANITY TODAY. He was "Uticas Two", as some of you may know the column about Uticas, and he also had a column called "Current Religious Life and Thought." He was in great demand as a speaker.

Well, it so happened that I also had a writing career, you might call it. I was a writer. I was doing writing and I was also being asked to speak. Now we only had one car and there was no question in my mind when Add and I got married that his schedule came first. Whatever speaking engagements he took, then I would fit in the things that I was asked to do around that so that we would never be in conflict with each other or never find that we both needed the car on the same day.

And as for his writing, it surprised me to learn one day that he was adding up the amount of money that my royalties brought in and comparing it with the amount of money that his royalties were bringing in. It would never have crossed my mind to make that comparison. But it was important to him. And I began to realize that this could get out of hand.

Well, the Lord took care of all that in a way that I certainly would never have imagined or asked for. And my husband got cancer and very soon became unable to do either the speaking or the writing, and died when he and I had been married just a little over four years.

I think we need to be sensitive to our husband's deep down, perhaps unspoken, feelings. When Jim Elliot and I were in love with each other, we were not yet engaged. We were not married. We were both studying Spanish in Quito. One day it dawned on me in a rather unmistakable way that Jim felt very badly because of the fact that I was ahead of him in Spanish studies.

Well, I didn't really have anything to do with that. I don't think it was a case of IQ. It was a case of a native gift for languages, a gift that God had given to me which God had not given to Jim. God had given him enough brains that he could learn Spanish and Quichua, which he did. He was preaching in Quichua in about three months, but he didn't have quite the same gift of an ear. And this was so painful to him that he actually shed tears over it at one point.

People are always worrying about husband number three, whose name is Lars, and what about his self-image? They go up and ask him this at the book table. He is at the back of the room when I am speaking up on the platform, and they say, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

And he knows what is coming, and they say, "What do you do with your self-image? Your wife is up there on the platform. She does all the talking. She gets all the attention, and here you are at the back of the room, fixing chairs, telling women where the ladies' room is and selling books. How do you feel about that? What do you do with your self-esteem?"

Well, Lars has some facetious answers. He says, "You don't have to worry about my self-image. I don't have one." And he says, "You can call me Mr. Elliot the Third if you want to." He gets called Mr. Elliot quite often. But he is a big enough man to realize that God gives different gifts to different people.

The point I am making here is that we need to be sensitive to what our particular kind of work is likely to do to our husbands, and therefore, to our relationship. The statistics are very plain that divorces have increased enormously since women began working. They have the possibility of financial independence. They have power. They have contact with other men that they never had when they were back in the kitchen. They begin to feel alienated from homemaking and more and more drawn to the power and the money of the business world.

If you are in such a position, you need special wisdom to be womanly, modest, gentle and quiet. And somebody says to me, "Then how am I going to get ahead?" I give you God's Word: You cannot serve God and the power of money at the same time.

In Matthew 6:31-34 we read this: "How little faith you have. No, do not ask anxiously, 'What are we to eat? What are we to drink? What shall we wear?' All of these are things for the heathen to run after, not for you. Because your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. Set your mind on God's kingdom and His justice before everything else, and all the rest will come to you as well. So do not be anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow will look after itself."

May the Lord speak His Word to you about your work today.

Lisa Barry: I know that programs like today's don't sit well with some of you. There are some that don't sit well with me either, but not because there's error in the content. The problem is usually me. I know many of the decisions I make are not out of obedience to God, but out of selfishness for my own comfort and pride. I don't like hearing when I'm going something wrong. But if it weren't for those unpleasant times, I would be nowhere near God's will for my life. I'm a stay-at-home mother, but don't assume for a minute that I think I've arrived. God is showing me where I need to improve every day. So as one struggling person to another, I encourage you to meet with God and resolve yourself to do what He asks.

If a tape of this broadcast would be helpful to you, then by all means ask for the series entitled A MOTHER'S WORK. Or if you've decided that maybe you should look into staying at home but aren't sure if you can afford it, why not order the book A CHRISTIAN'S GUIDE TO WORKING FROM HOME? It's wise information to help you succeed in creating your own home-based business.

Either of these resources are available by calling our toll-free number. It's 1-800-759-4JOY. Or if you'd rather write, our address is Gateway To Joy, Box 82500, Lincoln, Nebraska, 68501. Today's program has been a production of Back to the Bible.

I hope you'll plan to be with us again tomorrow on Gateway To Joy.