At the End of Self By Theodore Epp
As Jacob prepared to meet Esau, it was evident that he still had not grasped what it meant to really live by faith in God. Jacob still projected his own plans--he sent messengers to Esau and told them what to say: "Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau" (Gen. 32:4).
How interesting that Jacob used the word "lord" in referring to Esau. After 20 years with Laban, Jacob had a different language.
Before he had fled from his home, Jacob had lorded it over Esau and had taken away his birthright and blessing. But he now recognized Esau as lord.
Jacob told his messengers to tell Esau, "I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find grace in thy sight" (v. 5). They reported, "We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him" (v. 6).
Time had only intensified the hatred. Esau must have strutted with pride when he went to show his great power to Jacob.
He had been beaten by Jacob's cunning, but he would let Jacob know that he now had the power to humble him. Esau's attitude was "I'll show him who's the better of us."
Jacob was in real trouble. What was he going to do? How often God has to bring us up against a wall of calamity before He can truly deal with our souls.
"I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:5,6).