7 Reasons Our Prayer Goes Unanswered . . . and Why We Don’t Pray

Sometimes we struggle with prayer because it seems God doesn’t always answer our

prayers. We may not verbalize it this way, but we might think, “What’s the point of praying in the first place?” The problem, though, is that we often fail to think about why prayers go unanswered. Use this list below, and decide which factors are evident in your life as we continue this series on prayer:  

1. We don’t deal with sin in our lives.

   Here, the prophet Isaiah was clear as he wrote about those who cherished sin in their lives: “Indeed, the Lord’s arm is not too weak to save, and his ear is not too deaf to hear. But your iniquities are separating you from your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not listen” (Isa 59:1-2). As one writer put it, “God does not listen to the prayers of sinful, unrepentant people (Isa 59:2–3), because their trust is not truly in Him but in their own empty words (v. 4).”ⁱ 

2. We pray with wrong motives. 

   James wrote, “You ask and don't receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures” (James 4:3). All of us wrestle at some level with selfishness, but God expects our hearts to lean in a different direction. God is the great gift-giver, but we tend to reduce Him to a candy vending machine who just ejects the requested blessing. It’s so easy to fall into this trap of self-centeredness and then wonder why God doesn’t answer our prayers!  

3. We give up on prayer. 

   Jesus taught the parable of the persistent widow to encourage His disciples about “the need for them to pray always and not give up” (Luke 18:1). His disciples learned to pray at the feet of Jesus, yet even they faced the temptations of discouragement and prayerlessness—and so do we. Failing to persevere in prayer often results in unanswered prayer (especially when we never pray the prayer in the first place).  

4. We choose not to forgive others.

   Mark 11:24-25 ties together two prerequisites to answered prayer: we must ask in faith, and we must be willing to forgive others. As long as we hold on to bitterness and anger—thus, being unwilling to forgive somebody else’s wrong against us—we should not expect God to answer our own requests. Petitioning God is hardly effective if we are choosing to hold a grudge against others at the same time.  

5. We are not abiding in Christ. 

   Years ago, I memorized a little song based on John 15:7 in the King James Version that continually connected abiding with praying: “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.” I can hear the tune even as I type those words. When we stay connected to the vine through living in God’s Word and obeying it, we can trust God to hear our prayers; if we’re not clinging to the vine, we cannot expect Him to answer.  

6. We pray without really believing. 

   James 1:6-7 reminds us, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.” This faith is much more than an “I believe” statement; it is a confidence in God that He will respond in accordance with His will—a steadfast trust not moved by the winds of doubt and delay. That confidence, I am convinced, is tied directly to our loving and living out the Word of God.  

7. Our marriage relationship is not as strong as it should be. 

   Peter gives us direction here: “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Pet 3:7). Essentially, this word is a reminder that our relationship with God cannot be separated from our relationship with others. Particularly in the case of our marriages, we cannot assume God will answer our prayers when this most fundamental God-glorifying relationship is itself marred.  

Again, sometimes we struggle with prayer because we wonder if prayer works in the first place. The problem, however, is not with prayer; it is most often something within ourselves that hinders the effectiveness of our praying. This week, I challenge you to use this list of questions to evaluate if something’s “in the way” of your praying: 

• Is there an ongoing, likely hidden, sin in your life you have chosen not to turn from at this point—something that you know weakens your relationship with God who wants to hear the prayers of His righteous people?  

• Are your prayers more about you than about God and others? What would I have heard had I listened to all your prayers over the last week?  

• Have you stopped praying in general just because you’re not sure prayer works? If you have, I’m frankly glad you’ve read this article this far—and I pray it pushes you back toward prayer! 

• Do you need to forgive someone? Are you harboring bitterness or anger that hinders your praying?  

• Based on your spiritual disciplines and lifestyle choices, are you abiding in Christ? 

• Do you truly believe that God still answers prayers?  

• If you’re married, how’s your relationship?  

Based on your responses to these questions, what steps will you take to strengthen your prayer life this week?