Bitterness Rots the Soul: How God Heals What Anger Can’t Fix

By Arnie Cole 

If you’ve lived long enough in this world, you’ve probably seen bitterness eat people alive.

Maybe you’ve experienced it personally. And if so, you know that it usually doesn’t happen overnight. It starts as a small wound. Maybe a betrayal, a harsh word, or a disappointment. Before long, it festers.  

The person who hurt you moves on, but you can’t. You replay the scene over and over, adding new details, new justifications. And slowly, that wound starts to define you. I know, because I’ve been there. Some years ago, I had carried anger so long it was woven into my identity. Even when I tried to forgive, it “didn’t take.” And it slowly rotted my soul. 

That’s what bitterness does. It promises control but delivers corrosion. It doesn’t punish the person who wronged you. It punishes you instead. Like rust on steel, it slowly eats away at your peace, your perspective, even your capacity to love. 

What is God’s take on bitterness? The Bible speaks very directly: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph 4:31-32). Given that the Bible doesn’t mince words, we are well served to get to the root of it and root it out. 

When Anger Becomes a Habit 

 To be clear, anger isn’t always wrong. There’s a kind that’s righteous, the kind that grieves injustice or protects the vulnerable. But the kind of anger that camps out in the heart? That’s the kind that kills us. 

So, how do you identify the kind of anger that kills? Well, you know it’s turned into bitterness when you start rehearsing the wrongs in your head like a highlight reel. You’re not just angry about what happened; you’re angry because of who it happened to: you. 

You also know you’ve identified the poisonous type of anger when it begins to feel comforting, somehow safer than forgiveness. Resentment can make us feel strong when we actually feel small. But that strength is a lie. It isolates us. It blinds us. And before long, it begins to rot the soul. 

I once heard someone say that holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. That image stuck with me. Because it’s exactly what it feels like: you think you’re protecting yourself, but you’re slowly self-destructing. 

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget 

When Paul wrote those words in Ephesians, he wasn’t asking us to pretend the hurt never happened. To do that would be to tell a lie about reality. Instead, He was asking us to release it to the only One who can handle it. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you excuse the person who wronged you. It doesn’t mean you minimize the pain. It means you stop letting that moment own you. You take it out of your hands and put it in God’s. 

Consider the example of Jesus. When he hung on the cross, He didn’t say, “It’s okay.” He said, “Father, forgive them.” He faced evil head-on, absorbed its full weight, and still chose mercy. That’s power. That’s the kind of strength bitterness can never give you. 

God’s Antidote to Bitterness 

What is God’s answer for bitterness? The first step is to remember that if we want to see bitterness lose its grip, we must start by remembering what we’ve been forgiven. That’s where freedom begins. After all, Ephesians 4:32 ends with a reminder: “forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

That phrase levels the playing field. We’ve all sinned. We’ve all received grace we didn’t deserve. And when you start there, it becomes harder to justify withholding forgiveness from someone else. 

Does that make it easy? No. Not always. Forgiveness often feels unnatural. But grace doesn’t wait for feelings; it moves by faith. Every time you pray, “Lord, I release this to You,” you chip away at the power bitterness holds over your heart. 

And here’s the thing: God meets you there. His Spirit does what your willpower can’t. He softens what’s hardened and heals what anger can’t fix. 

The Long Work of Letting Go 

Maybe you’ve carried bitterness for years. Maybe it’s toward a parent, a spouse, a coworker, or even God. And you know by experience that you can’t just “will it away” in a day. But you can take the first step: tell the truth. Admit what’s there. Bring it into the light. 

So, if you’re struggling with bitterness and resentment of some sort, the best first step is to pray something simple and honest: Lord, I’m tired of carrying this. I don’t know how to forgive, but I want to. Help me release this anger before it rots my soul. That prayer might feel small, but it’s powerful. God can grow a seed of surrender into a harvest of healing. 

And once He does, don’t keep that healing to yourself. Share it with someone else who’s stuck where you once were. Tell them what God has done. That’s how bitterness loses its legacy! We experience God’s grace, pass it along to others, and grace becomes contagious. 

Because at the end of the day, bitterness rots the soul, but forgiveness revives it.