Breaking Through Reluctance: From Loneliness to Belonging

From pain and loneliness to hope and belonging—Jesus invites us into His family, where no one is left out, and all are truly seen.

Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong? Like you were on the outside looking in, no matter how hard you tried to connect? It’s a feeling I know well, and it’s one that came rushing back to me recently in an unexpected way.

It started with a conversation on an airplane. I met a man who, like me, was older, had seen a lot of life, and carried the weight of his experiences in his eyes. He was intelligent, accomplished, and quick to share stories about his family, his career, and his passions. But as we talked, I couldn’t shake the sense that beneath the surface, he was lonely. There was a heaviness in his words, a quiet longing for something more.

We struck up a conversation about faith, though I kept it light. I shared some pieces of my story, listened to his, and prayed silently for him. But even as we talked, I could see that what he was missing wasn’t just a belief system or moral compass. What he was missing was belonging.

That conversation stayed with me, but what happened after the plane landed hit me even harder. As I was praying for my new friend, I received a text message from my cousin’s wife. It read:

“Char & Arn, I'm sure you heard from Wes that George passed a few weeks ago. God provided him with a good send-off. Service is on May 1st. I apologize for sending this so late. S. ❤️”

George had been dead for over a month, and no one had told me.

I can’t explain the wave of emotions that hit me. Even though I never met my biological parents—having been adopted at an early age—I had built a life, a family took me in, yet I always had a nagging feeling that many family members felt I didn’t belong being adopted and all. I thought I had made peace with my story. But reading that message brought back feelings I thought I’d left behind long ago. Feelings of being forgotten, left out, and alone. The sting of not belonging resurfaced in an instant, and for a moment, I let it overwhelm me.

The Ache of Not Belonging

That’s the thing about loneliness—it doesn’t just disappear with time. It has a way of creeping back in, catching you off guard, and reminding you of the places where you’ve felt overlooked or excluded. For me, that text about George was a painful reminder of how I’ve struggled with belonging my whole life. And I don’t think I’m alone in that struggle.

I thought about my friend from the plane. He didn’t say it outright, but I could sense the same ache of not belonging in him. It wasn’t just about faith or morality or belief systems. It was about the emptiness of being disconnected—from God, from others, and maybe even from himself.

And then it hit me: That’s what the Gospel is all about. It’s about belonging. It’s about inviting people into the family of God, where no one is left out, forgotten, or alone. It’s about showing the world that there’s an alternative to the isolation and emptiness that so many people feel.

The Family of Jesus

As I wrestled with my own feelings of hurt and loneliness, I was reminded of the truth that changed everything for me: I belong to the family of Jesus. This isn’t just some abstract idea or theological concept—it’s a reality that has carried me through the hardest moments of my life. I am part of a family that stretches across time and geography, a family built on grace, love, and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. And in that family, I am seen, known, and loved.

That’s the hope I want to share with others—not just a set of beliefs or a list of rules, but an invitation to belong. To be part of a family where no one is ever truly alone.

"You are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God…" —Ephesians 2:19 (ESV)

This verse reminds us that in Christ, we are no longer outsiders. We belong to His household, His family, and that changes everything.

Call to Action:

If you’ve ever felt the sting of loneliness or the ache of not belonging, take heart. Jesus offers us a place in His family—a place where no one is forgotten, and no one is left out. And if you’re already part of that family, let that truth shape the way you see the people around you. Look for the lonely, the disconnected, the ones who feel like they don’t belong.

You don’t have to have all the answers or the perfect words. Just be present. Be kind.

Be willing to listen. And when the opportunity comes, invite them into the family of Jesus—the family where we are all seen, known, and loved.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what we’re all searching for: a place to belong. And in Christ, we’ve already found it. Let’s not keep it to ourselves. Let’s share it, one conversation, one act of love, one moment at a time.

Send your comments to me here.

All in, eyes up.

-Arnie