Known by Our Love: How We Resist Helplessness in a World of Hate
- Arnie Cole
- Sep 21
- 4 min read
I got a text the other day from our daughter. One of the girls in our barn had said that Charlie Kirk deserved to die because he was such a terrible human being. My daughter didn’t fire back with more angry words or try to win an argument. Instead, with quiet wisdom, she simply said, “We can choose to disagree,” and left it there.
When I read her message, I started thinking. As a Christ-follower, what could I possibly say to someone who feels that way? How do you respond when the hatred is so strong that even murder seems justifiable?
And then it struck me: moments like these only add to the heaviness we already carry. Many mornings, when my feet hit the floor, I wonder, does what I do today even matter? The places I go, the conversations I either have or avoid, the prayers I say… All of it can feel so completely insignificant. Then I turn on the news, and it’s more of the same: chaos, injustice, hostility. It’s easy to believe that no matter how hard we try, nothing ever changes. That creeping sense of powerlessness is what psychologists call learned helplessness. It’s where repeated setbacks and constant negativity convince us we have no control. Spiritually, it can kill our hope, blunt our action, and silence our love.
The Deepening Shadows
I wanted you to know that your responses to the Learned Helplessness Assessment, which many of you took last week (we will have the full analysis for you next week), showed this clearly:
Most of us doubt that our daily actions make a difference.
Most of us are hesitant to step forward in faith, unsure that we have anything worth offering.
Most of us regret, and sometimes feel shame, for what we didn’t do.
Thus, when another tragedy strikes—like the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk, a public figure killed while speaking on a university campus—it doesn’t just add news items to our feed. It feeds the fear that strong voices are silenced and that speaking or trying to speak will make us targets more than instruments of love.
And then there’s the ugliness around the response: mocking, celebrating, re-enacting violence, public shaming, online cruelty. These acts of hate amplify the sense that the world is hostile, that we’re already defeated before we begin.
Why This Magnifies Helplessness
When we see that speaking out or showing faith might invite ridicule, threats, or worse, the risk feels too high and many pull back afraid of the cost. When we see people mock grief even at memorials, what hope is there to show compassion? And this just makes us feel isolated and silenced. The hatred we experience convinces us that we’re alone in our convictions and as a result, we begin to censor ourselves and shrink from our public demonstrations of faith.
What Faith Tells Us
Christian hope doesn’t deny the darkness. But it does insist that love still matters. Especially when it feels like nothing else does. Jesus didn’t say we’d be known by our outrage, our power, or our arguments. He said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
The Apostle Paul reminds us that “Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:10.) He’s saying that even when institutions fail or society turns toxic, we can choose love. But he knows it’s not easy, so he encourages us, “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). The results may not be immediate, but they are eternal.
Known By Love in a Time of Hate
If we are to resist helplessness, we must reclaim our identity as Christ’s followers, not as people defined by fear, retaliation, or despair, but as people defined by love. In other words:
When others curse, we bless.
When others mock, we comfort.
When others spread hate, we sow peace.
This doesn’t mean ignoring injustice or staying silent. It means our response is anchored in love, not poisoned by bitterness for those who hate everything we believe in. Imagine the testimony if, in the wake of violence and hatred, Christ-followers became more known for their love than the world is known for its hate.
Small Steps Toward Breakthrough
So what can we do to move ourselves towards a spiritual breakthrough? First, anchor yourself in Scripture. Remind yourself of who you are. That you are chosen, loved and sent by God. Next, commit to speaking kindness to someone who may least expect it. When sharing your faith, witness honestly. Admit your fears. Community can be built through vulnerability.
Finally, pray for those who celebrate hate knowing that God’s love can transform even the hardest of hearts. Step by step we can stand courageously for truth.
A Vision: Redefining What We Are Known For
Let’s imagine the kind of people we want to be remembered as:
Not shrinking back when hatred shouts.
Not silenced because the cost seems too high.
People whose love is louder, because it holds fast when others let go.
The world might remember acts of hatred first. But God remembers acts of love. And one day, that memory will matter more.
Response
This week, choose one small act of love, something that costs you humility, vulnerability, or sacrifice. And after doing it, write it down. Pray about what it means. Trust that even in the face of tragedy, even when it seems like nothing shifts, this act is doing more than you know.
In it, to Kingdom win it!
–Arnie
P.S. Your score was only the beginning. It’s what you do next that matters. Spiritually Fit Daily launches this October, and it’s built to help you break free from helplessness and live each day with purpose. Don’t wait—get into God’s Word and take today back.
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