Love After the Flowers Fade: The Secret to Enduring Commitment

Valentine’s Day is easy. The flowers are fresh, the chocolates are plenty, and the "feeling" of

love is in the air. But as Arnie Cole and marriage counselor Kyle Helmink discussed recently on Spiritually Fit Today, the real test of a relationship doesn't happen in February. It happens in "March", when the flowers have faded, the daily grind has returned, and real life shows up with all its messiness and demands.

Most couples discover they were never actually taught how love lasts. We are sold a version of love that is based on a "spark," but sparks are meant to start fires, not keep them burning through a winter storm. To build a relationship that survives the seasons, we have to move beyond temporary feelings and embrace the "grit" of biblical commitment.

The Four Pillars of a "March" Marriage

Our memory verse for this week, 1 Corinthians 13:6–7, provides the structural blueprint for a love that doesn't quit: "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." When the "Valentine's high" wears off, these four pillars hold the roof up:

1.    Bearing All Things: This is the "grit" factor. It’s the decision to protect the relationship even when it’s heavy.

2.    Believing All Things: This isn't being naïve; it’s choosing to believe the best about your partner’s intentions rather than assuming the worst.

3.    Hoping All Things: This is looking forward. It’s the refusal to believe that "this is as good as it gets."

4.    Enduring All Things: This is the long-game. It’s the commitment to stay even when things get painful.

Moving from "Me" to "We"

The world tells us that love is about finding someone who meets our needs. But biblical love is about becoming someone who serves another. As Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

Marriage is the ultimate spiritual workout because it constantly asks us to perform the "rep" of self-sacrifice. Kyle Helmink notes that many couples feel like they are at the end of their rope because they are waiting for their partner to change first. But spiritual fitness starts with your own heart. When we lead with truth and grace, we create an environment where "we" can thrive.

The Soul Pump Assignment: The Hope Exercise

If you feel like the flowers have faded in your relationship, don't wait for a special occasion to fix it. This week, Arnie Cole challenges us to perform a "Hope Exercise."

Sit down with your partner this weekend—no phones, no distractions—and share three specific hopes you have for your future together. Then, share one thing you truly appreciate about them.

This simple spiritual rep helps shift your focus from what is "broken" to what is "possible." It reminds you that God specializes in bringing hope to situations that feel hopeless. Romans 15:13 prays, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

Why Your Marriage Matters Today

A healthy, Christ-centered marriage is one of the most powerful witnesses to a watching world. It shows that commitment is possible and that grace is real. By choosing to endure, believe, and hope today, you are building a legacy that lasts far longer than a bouquet of roses.

A Final Encouragement

Whether you are in a season of joy or a season of struggle, remember that you don't have to carry the weight of your marriage alone. Christ is the third cord in your relationship that is not easily broken.

Reader FAQ

Q1: What if I’ve lost the "spark" entirely?

A: Feelings often follow actions. Start performing the "reps" of love—serving, listening, and encouraging—even if the feeling isn't there yet. Often, the spark returns when the commitment is prioritized.

Q2: How do I "bear all things" without becoming a doormat?

A: Biblical love "rejoices with the truth." Bearing all things doesn't mean ignoring sin or abuse; it means staying committed to the person while standing firmly in the truth of God's Word.

Q3: We are at the end of our rope. Is there still hope?

A: Yes. God is in the business of resurrection. The first step is often surrendering the situation to Him and seeking wise, godly counsel to help navigate the way back.

Q4: How can we stay spiritually connected as a couple?

A: Start small. Praying together for just two minutes before bed or discussing one verse of Scripture can break the "spiritual drift" that happens in busy seasons.

References & Links

If you’re looking for encouragement, clarity, and practical ways to grow stronger in your faith, we invite you to listen to the Spiritually Fit Today podcast. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube—wherever you get your podcasts. Each episode is designed to help you take one step, one choice, one spiritual rep at a time, because what you do today matters. Remember, God is still at work in you, and you’re not walking this journey alone.

Next Steps

●     Learn more: Strengthen your faith with daily spiritual reps at https://backtothebible.org/

Contact us: We want to stand with you in prayer for your relationship. Reach out at https://backtothebible.org/contact