Finding Gratitude During the Holidays When Life Feels Heavy

The holidays look bright from the outside, but for many of us, the season lands with a sting.

Empty chairs at the table. Bad news that arrived at the worst time. Family tension. Or the weight of simply trying to smile when life feels bruised.

I have felt that heaviness myself. And after spending days listening to Dr. Rob Rhodes, a physician with decades of experience walking with people through pain, I walked away with something surprising. Gratitude is not a distraction. Gratitude is not denial. Gratitude is a lifeline.

Gratitude does not ignore the pain. It reframes it.

That one shift can change everything.

The Power of Gratitude in a Season That Hurts

Dr. Rhodes grew up in a farm family with little money but a deep well of love. When he tells the stories of his childhood, you can almost feel the scratchy pickup seats, the long Iowa dirt roads and the warmth of a home where hard work and faith shaped everything.

They were poor, but they were rich in gratitude. And that shaped the way he now sees the world and cares for his patients.

He explained something that stopped me in my tracks. Human nature tends to scan for the negative. Our brains do that to protect us. But focusing on the negative builds the wrong pathways. Gratitude builds new ones.

Every time we look for the good, even for five seconds, the brain releases chemicals that help heal anxiety and pain. Dopamine. Endorphins. Oxytocin. These are not small things. They are the body’s God-created helpers. Tiny sparks that whisper, you are safe. You are held. You will get through this.

Gratitude does not erase the struggle. It creates space for hope.

When Pain Turns Harsh, Gratitude Softens Us

Dr. Rhodes told of his time working in the hospital. He said the patients who were hurting the most often spoke with the sharpest edges. Anger. Fear. Frustration. And yet, the most healing thing a caregiver can do is remain steady. Kind. Present.

Because kindness itself creates a chemical shift in the receiver and the giver.

When we offer compassion, even in the smallest ways, the brain releases what he calls helper hormones. They ease pain. They lower fear. They create openness. Gratitude builds on that foundation. It takes what hurts and gives it a softer place to land.

So when the holidays feel raw and your patience runs thin, you can pause and ask, what is one small thing I can thank God for right now? Not because life is perfect, but because He is near.

The Car Ride That Changed His Brain Forever

One of Dr. Rhodes’s most powerful childhood memories came from a simple holiday trip. His family piled into a giant old Buick, a car with no airbags and questionable seatbelts. They squeezed in tight, grumbled a little, and drove to the annual family gathering.

But once they arrived, everything shifted. The tight spaces and loud kids faded into something beautiful. A warm room. Familiar faces. Food cooked by hands that had seen generations come and go. A reminder that they belonged.

He remembers thinking even then, this is something to be thankful for.

Gratitude grows best in ordinary places.

When Neighbors Show Up, Gratitude Deepens

One year, when Dr. Rhodes was just a boy, his father became dangerously ill. An infection spread near the bone behind his ear and almost reached his brain. The family feared the worst.

They woke one morning to a sound outside the windows. Engines. Dozens of them.

Farmers from across the county had gathered with their tractors and combines. They knew the Rhodes family was in crisis, and without being asked, they harvested the family’s crops for them. What would have taken weeks was finished in one day.

That kind of love rewires you. It teaches you what generosity looks like. It invites you to pass it on.

And maybe that is the heart of gratitude. When we receive love in a moment of need, something inside us learns to give it away.

Gratitude When You Receive Bad News

Some of the toughest moments in life happen inside exam rooms. The doctor walks in. The patient waits for the verdict.

Dr. Rhodes said that most people want the truth. But they also need hope. Not empty reassurance, but real partnership. Someone to say, yes this is hard. Yes this will take courage. But you are not alone in it.

He often asked patients if he could pray with them. He understood that hope is not found in statistics. It is found in presence.

So when you walk into a holiday season carrying a heavy diagnosis or a fear that keeps you up at night, remember this. God has not left you. He is there in the room. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The Empty Chair at the Table

Nothing breaks the heart quite like an empty chair. Sometimes it is a parent who is absent. A spouse. A child. A friend. You can feel their absence even when the room is loud and full.

Grief is not something to rush past. It is something to honor.

Dr. Rhodes often told his grieving patients that there is no correct timeline. Some people feel the ache for months. Others feel it for years. Holidays amplify what is missing.

He encourages people to remember something good, even for a few seconds. That memory can soften the intensity. It can steady the body. It can remind us that love is real and does not disappear.

And the truth is, those we love in Christ have a front row seat in heaven. They are more whole now than they ever were on earth.

How Gratitude Can Heal the Holidays

Here are gentle ways to practice gratitude when the season feels heavy.

1. Name three small blessings each day

Not big ones. Small ones. A warm mug. A text from someone who sees you. A moment of quiet. These tiny gifts help the brain breathe.

2. Journal five seconds of a happy memory

Dr. Rhodes explained that even reliving a short memory can lower blood pressure and calm stress.

3. Pray honestly

God is not asking you to fake joy. He is asking you to trust Him with what hurts.

4. Reach out instead of retreating

Isolation magnifies pain. Connection softens it.

5. Show up for someone else

A compliment. A meal. A kind word. A quick visit. These are the things that rebuild hope in you and in the person who receives them.

Your Generosity Matters More Than You Know

Dr. Rhodes helped found a free medical clinic that now serves thousands each year. It began with one mission trip, one bag, one nudge from God that he could not ignore.

That is how most miracles start.

You never know what God might build from your simple yes.

If you are feeling empty or stretched thin, your act of kindness today may become someone else’s lifeline tomorrow. Gratitude fuels generosity. And generosity multiplies hope.

FAQ: Gratitude During the Holidays

Why is it harder to feel thankful during the holidays?

Because stress, grief and expectations collide. When emotions rise, the brain defaults to scanning for danger, not blessings.

Can gratitude really change my mood?

Yes. Even small moments of thankfulness release chemicals that reduce pain and calm the body.

What if I am too sad to feel grateful?

Start small. Name one thing. Gratitude is not a performance. It is a posture.

How does faith support gratitude?

Scripture reminds us that God is near to the brokenhearted. Gratitude becomes an act of trust.

How can I help someone else who is struggling this season?

Show up. Listen. Offer small kindnesses. Presence often heals what words cannot.

Helpful Links

External Resources- Mayo Clinic on gratitude and mental health: https://www.mayoclinic.org- American Psychological Association on stress during holidays: https://www.apa.org

Internal Resources- Back to the Bible: https://www.backtothebible.org- Contact page: https://www.backtothebible.org/contact

If you read this far, know this. You are not alone. Gratitude does not remove the hard parts of life. It steadies you so you can walk through them with God at your side.

What you do today matters. And choosing gratitude, even for a moment, might just change everything.

P.S. If you have a comment or prayer request, contact me here: or call me and leave a message at 1-800-811-2387. And be sure to join me tomorrow through Friday on our new podcast Spiritually Fit Today.