Learning the Disciplines of Silence and Solitude

I admit it. I’m an introvert. In fact, I tell people that I would happily go off the “I” (introversion) scale on a personality test if I could do so. As a professor and pastor, I’m okay with hanging out with people for a while—I just need to take a nap after it!  

That doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with the disciplines of silence and solitude, though, simply because I’m a “do-er” who always wants to be getting something done. Many of us are so accustomed to doing activity, to “hanging out,” to being with people, to hearing noise in the background that the thought of being alone and quiet stresses us out. It’s sometimes as if we think, ”There’s no way I can just sit still and be quiet for any length of time.”  

And, maybe that’s an indication of the problem . . . . Not only can we not just sit still, but we even struggle with being quiet and alone before God. We wrestle with just focusing on our Creator and Redeemer when there are other things to do. That’s why I’ve especially spent some time working on these disciplines in my life—and I hope this post will help you as well.  

Over the years, I’ve kept quotes about the disciplines of silence and solitude. Below are a few, followed by some of my thoughts about these important tasks: 

• “Solitude is the Spiritual Discipline of voluntarily and temporarily withdrawing to privacy for spiritual purposes. The period of solitude may last only a few minutes or for days. As with silence, solitude may be sought in order to participate without interruption in other Spiritual Disciplines, or just to be alone with God and think.” Donald Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, 225 

  
  

• “In stark aloneness it is possible to have silence, to be still, and to know that Jehovah indeed is God (Ps. 46:10), to set the Lord before our minds with sufficient intensity and duration that we stay centered upon him—our hearts fixed, established in trust (Ps. 112:7–8)—even when back in the office, shop, or home.”  Dallas Willard, Spirit of the Disciplines, 162 

  
  

• “Getting away, quiet and alone, is no special grace on its own. But the goal is to create a context for enhancing our hearing from God in his word and responding back to him in prayer. Silence and solitude, then, are not direct means of grace in themselves, but they can grease the skids—like caffeine, sleep, exercise, and singing—for more direct encounters with God in his word and in prayer.”  David Mathis, Habits of Grace, 139 

  
  

• “But the news about him [Jesus] spread even more, and large crowds would come together to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. Yet he often withdrew to deserted places and prayed." Luke 5:15-16 

  
  

Here, then, are some of my thoughts to help you grow:  

1. Thinking “solitude” and “silence” is foreign to many of us. Some of us who are more introverted often find it hard to make time to be alone. Others who are more extroverted can’t imagine not being with people; after all, what might we miss while we’re alone? And, few of us can even find a place where it’s quiet enough to be silent.  

   
   

2. Silence and solitude are not a means to escape people. These disciplines do allow us time without others around us, but their goal is to grow us in our spiritual walk by tuning our ears to listen to God. There’s intentionality in the efforts of these disciplines, as being with God first helps us to be with people in a better way.   

   
   

3. Silence and solitude need not be long, but the disciplines must be purposeful. Even 15 minutes to step away from the chaos and to listen more intently to God should have purpose. Taking a short break away from people and noise can be renewing—but, think about how much effort it would take to find that time and place. We have to purposefully make these disciplines happen.  

   
   

4. Be aware of what you learn about yourself if you struggle with establishing times of silence and solitude. Sometimes our busyness is a sign not only of workaholism, but also of idolatry. Maybe it’s a sign that our addiction to technology and social media is an idol. Our unwillingness to focus entirely on God for at least a few minutes can also be an indication of something amiss in our spiritual walk. We need noise and people to drown out our ongoing, private rebellion.  

   
   

5. I recommend daily short times and monthly longer times of solitude. A daily quiet time with the Lord can be silence and solitude if we step away from others to do it. Most of us need that kind of focus to hear the Lord well. For me, a monthly time of one hour of silence and solitude—usually a time of hiking or sitting in nature, and often on a day when I’m also committed to fasting—is remarkably refreshing.  

   
   

6. Don’t expect life-transforming moments every time, but do expect to know God better as a result of a time of silence and solitude. I’ve had times of great mountaintop experiences, but I’ve also had routine, simple times with the Lord. Never had I had a time of solitude, though, without some movement toward God. Never have I walked away thinking, “I’m not going to do that anymore.”

7. Start today or tomorrow. We typically need to plan for a time of silence and solitude, but all of us can start somewhere. Before the Lord’s day comes this Sunday, find even a few minutes to get away from others and be alone with God. To set a longer time, you might check out this post: "10 Reasons to Set Aside One Hour of Silence and Solitude before Worship this Week." 

   
   

Blessings on your journey toward silence and solitude!