Living in Hope: 8 Reasons We Must Not Give Up on Wayward or Unsaved Loved Ones

I confess to you that no matter how long I’ve been a Christ-follower, I continually have to run to God for hope when my heart hurts. I continue to learn every day just how faithful He is, though, so we begin this week a new article series on “living in hope.” Our first topic is living in hope when our loved ones aren’t following God.

Not surprisingly, I heard another story this week of a believer who’s been praying a long time for a non-believing loved one or a prodigal son. I hear these stories enough that I hope this article is helpful to you as you (1) wait and pray, or (2) shepherd others who are waiting and praying.

In fact, I recently published a book entitled, Don’t Give Up: Trusting God with Your Wandering Loved Ones, that I hope will be an encouragement to you. Maybe one of these reasons to keep believing I list below will also encourage you today:

1. God is still drawing people to Himself. As long as He chooses to do so, God will continue wooing people from every tribe, tongue, and nation (Rev 7:9). His Spirit is still at working convicting people of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8-11). Some of us can tell our own stories of God’s unexpectedly and dramatically saving us – and it’s possible your loved one is the next one to turn to Christ.

2. It’s the enemy who wants you to give up. Satan wants to discourage you, enticing you to believe there remains no hope for your loved one. He wants you to stop believing, stop praying, stop trusting. He wants you to doubt the pursuing love of God in your life and the lives of others you love. Don’t give him that kind of power in your life.

3. God loves your loved one more than you do. Today I’m particularly praying for two people: my older sister and a young guy who is like a son to me. I’ve been praying for both of them for a long time (and, I ask you to take a moment and pray for them, too, as you read this article). My love for them is deeper than I could ever imagine, but God’s love is even deeper. That truth gives me hope. 

4. God's calendar and clock are not the same as ours—but they are always right on time. What seems so long to us as we wait on God to answer our prayers is not long to our eternal God. He has a plan that does not always coincide with our plans, but His timing is always, always perfect. And, I’ve learned through personal experience that we no longer worry about any perceived delay when He does indeed answer our long-term prayers.  

5. God sometimes takes his time responding to us because of what He wants to do in us. We’re focused on our loved one as we pray—and that’s not a wrong focus—but God's focused on us, too. He might be teaching us in the process of waiting. Perhaps He’s teaching us patience (something I really still need to learn), trust, faith, and perseverance—all that will make us even stronger witnesses for those we long to reach. 

6. God may well be working in your loved one, even though you don’t recognize it. Here’s the way I summarize this truth: when God is doing His work, He’s under NO obligation to let us in on the details. If He chooses to work in their lives without telling us what He’s doing, that’s His call. He’s God; we’re not—and our job is just to trust Him as we wait and watch on behalf of our wandering loved ones.

7. Some of us can speak of God’s amazing grace in the lives of our loved ones. We prayed for my dad for 36 years before he turned to Christ at age 71. God so changed my dad through the gospel that we almost didn’t recognize him as he became caring and gracious like he had never been. My mom also later became a believer at age 79 after we had asked God for 47 years to save her. Though she lived only six months after turning to Christ, she, too, was dramatically different after she became a believer. Those stories of God’s patience and faithfulness compel me to keep trusting and praying for my sister and my “son.” 

8. Faith is about hope. Maybe you know the biblical writer’s definition of faith in Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen” (CSB). One writer speaks of this belief as “a ‘firm, solid confidence’ or a ‘calm courage’ with reference to things hoped for”*—both images that are encouraging to me when I turn to God for hope. We can indeed have confidence in Him, and we can calmly trust Him when the enemy aims arrows of fear at us.

In that light, you and I can live in hope today even as we wait for Him to save our wandering loved ones. I have, in fact, prayed for everyone who will read this article as I conclude writing it today. Press on in faith and hope, friends.

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*George H. Guthrie, Hebrews (The NIV Application Commentary) (p. 374). Kindle Edition.