The Top 5 Ways Reluctant Christians Say No to God (Without Realizing It)

They call Him “Lord”… but live like He’s not. What over 500 Christians just admitted might surprise you.

In our latest survey, we asked you an open-ended question. Instead of me, the researcher, giving you a set of choices, you told us your thoughts in your own words. (This is my favorite way to get to the heart of issues.) I am so thankful to have heard from well over 500 of you who courageously answered the question: “Where in my life am I calling Him ‘Lord’ but not doing what He says?”

We found a heartbreakingly honest glimpse into one of the Church’s greatest silent struggles: Reluctant Christ Followers.

This isn’t about unbelievers. It is about people like you and me—churchgoers, Bible readers, faithful worshippers—admitting that there are still places in their lives where obedience stops short. The results from this national survey are humbling and illuminating, and they demand a response.

Here are the Top 5 Ways Believers Call Jesus “Lord” But Don’t Follow Through

1. Clinging to Control Instead of Trusting God

We say “Lord” but keep steering the wheel. Many of us confessed that although we proclaim Christ as Lord, we still hold tight to the reins of our own finances, future, or family. One respondent wrote, “I keep calling Him Lord of my life, but I still try to control my own plans instead of truly trusting Him.” We’re like teenagers who ask Dad for permission, then do whatever we want anyway. This theme of partial surrender was the most common.

2. Staying Silent About Faith Out of Fear

We worship privately but live publicly. On Sunday morning, hands are raised in bold declaration: Jesus is Lord. But by Monday morning, silence often replaces that boldness when conversations turn spiritual. Many believers admit to this quiet tension. “At work, I keep my faith private,” one Christian shared. “Even though, in my heart, I know God wants me to be bolder.” The fear of being labeled, rejected, or ridiculed keeps many of us Christ Followers from letting our light shine. We’ve mastered the art of faith that disappears the moment we walk out of church. 

3. Withholding Forgiveness and Love

We sing about love, but practice holding grudges. This one stung me so badly because it is so common among most of us. We belt out “Jesus Loves Me” while nursing resentment toward our ex, our boss, that family member who hurt us. So many of us wrote about broken relationships and the refusal to let go of past hurts. “I call Jesus my Lord yet hold onto bitterness toward my father,” one participant confessed. Many know what Scripture commands about grace and forgiveness, but choose not to obey. Kind of like forgiveness has expiration dates.

4. Choosing Comfort Over Sacrifice

We want Lordship without sacrifice. A staggering number described a preference for comfort and convenience over action and service. One wrote, “I sing ‘Lord, I surrender all’ on Sunday, but I won’t risk my comfort to actually serve or help others during the week.” This exposes a subtle idol—comfort—that competes with Christ for our loyalty. We love the idea of Jesus being Lord, as long as it doesn’t cost us anything.

5. Continuing in Known Sin

We confess Him while indulging ourselves. The hardest responses to read were from those of us who are trapped in habits that contradict everything they claim to believe. One gut-wrenching example: “I know I should give up my addiction, but I haven’t. I call Him Lord with my lips, but my choices tell a different story.” These are people who want to change, but haven’t yet surrendered fully.

The Emotional Undercurrent: Sorrow + Hope

What’s striking is not just what people confessed—but how. The tone of their responses was not casual or indifferent. It was deeply humble, sincere, and repentant. These are not hardened hypocrites; these are convicted disciples who are beginning to awaken. They wrote things like:

“I want to surrender these hesitant parts of my heart to God and trust Him more.”

“I know He’s calling me deeper. I just don’t want to stay where I am anymore.”

Why This Matters More Than Ever

We are witnessing the largest religious shift in modern history. Cultural Christianity is collapsing, and nominal faith no longer carries social currency. In this moment, the Church doesn’t need more polished performances—it needs wholehearted obedience.

The question is no longer: “Do I believe in Jesus?” The better question is: “Is He really Lord in my daily life?

”That’s why this isn’t just a research report—it’s a call to action.

What Now?

Start by asking yourself: “Lord, where am I still holding back?” Then respond—not with guilt, but with grace-fueled resolve. The people in this study aren’t condemned—they’re being invited into deeper surrender. And so are we. You don’t have to fix everything today. But you do have to stop ignoring it. Let this be your turning point.

One Simple Next Step:

Take 5 minutes and reflect on these three questions:

-Do I consider myself a Reluctant Christ Follower?

-On a scale of 1 to 10, how often am I reluctant to obey Him?

-Where in my life am I calling Him “Lord”… but not doing what He says?

Then invite the Holy Spirit to help you close the gap between profession and practice. Because Jesus doesn’t just want our words. He wants our lives. And when we surrender our reluctance, we find freedom on the other side.

Let’s stop calling Him Lord and doing nothing. Let’s call Him Lord—and mean it.

In His grace,

-Arnie