What If Your Life Is the Only Bible Someone With a Different Lifestyle Ever Reads?

Your life may be the only Bible someone ever reads. Live with grace, patience, and love so others see Christ through your actions.

Tell me, and be truthful, what would you do – or if you have dealt with this – what did you do when faced with this story of a transgender child and their boyfriend? (Hit reply or simply call us at 800-811-2387)

On the very first day of our Spiritually Fit Today podcast, I received a doozy of a question from a heartbroken mom. “My youngest is… she’s born female, but she wants to identify as a guy, so she had a double mastectomy...” she explained. As a Christian mother, she was praying constantly for her child to “come to her senses” and return to living in God’s truth. But that wasn’t the only challenge. Her daughter’s new boyfriend openly disrespected the mom’s values and even antagonized her faith at every turn. In her words: “he called Charlie Kirk a piece of doo-doo... I told him... it upsets me... and he said it again,” she shared describing how the boyfriend ignored her plea for basic respect. “When he does that, I get so angry and frustrated, and I know that’s not good... I’ve been praying for help to love him... to forgive him... so that I keep my focus on Christ, and not on the problems of the world,” she admitted. You can hear the agony in this mother’s voice – a mix of frustration, grief, and yearning to respond in a Christlike way despite the deep wounds being caused.

If you’re a parent (or anyone with friends or loved ones making painful choices), you can imagine her heartache. It’s pain beyond words to watch your child walk a path we firmly believe is harmful or against God’s design. It’s even harder when someone in your life seems to mock or reject everything you believe in. Anger and hurt come naturally. Yet this mom knows she’s called to something higher than anger. She wants to love her child and even her child’s boyfriend, no matter how much they disagree. She wants to “keep [her] focus on Christ, and not on the problems of the world”. How can she possibly do that? How do we handle these kinds of crazy-making, difficult situations as Christ-followers?

Your Life Is a Living Bible Letter

There’s an old saying that continually haunts me and always seems to come to mind for moments like this: “Your life may be the only Bible someone else ever reads.” In other words, the way we live is our message. The apostle Paul put it this way in Scripture: “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone” (2 Corinthians 3:2). Paul was telling the Corinthians that their lives were like living letters from Christ to the world. Think about that – your life is a letter from Jesus to your daughter, your son, your friends, your critics, everyone around you. Whether you realize it or not, people are watching how you live – your kindness, your patience, your words – and you’re already sending a message about Christ.

For that struggling mom, this truth meant that her responses and attitude speak louder about Jesus than any Bible verse she could quote to her daughter or the disrespectful boyfriend.

The same is true for all of us. Our life is always preaching, even when our lips aren’t moving. We all have moments when our actions either draw people toward Jesus or push them further away. For a moment, think of someone you know whose life “preached” louder than their words. Maybe you observed a friend or family member go through suffering with unshakeable peace or consistently show kindness in the face of rudeness. Their quiet faith spoke volumes without them having to say a word. These examples remind us that others “read” our lives daily – and what they read can either point them to Christ or turn them off. As the Bible says about believers, “You show that you are a letter from Christ… written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God… on tablets of human hearts” (2 Corinthians 3:3). God’s Spirit is writing a story through you that others can see.

How far do you go without slamming the door?

Let’s face it, the stakes are high. Living out biblical truth as well as Christ’s love in the face of open opposition and hostility, as well as deep personal grief, is hard. This mother’s situation is one of the toughest things I could ever imagine going through—your child choosing an identity at odds with your beliefs, and a hostile boyfriend completely disrespecting your faith and viewpoints.

Jesus never said that following Him would be easy; in fact, He told us to love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us (Matthew 5:44). That sounds great in a sermon, but when you’re confronted with daily disrespect or when your child rejects the values you taught them, it truly is a Spirit-powered task to respond with love.

So how can we stay focused on Christ and not just the problems?

First, remember that Jesus understands this pain. Jesus loved people who disagreed with Him and even those who attacked Him. He responded with compassion and truth. He wept over those who refused God (Luke 19:41) and forgave those who hurt Him (Luke 23:34). He is with you, and He can give you supernatural strength to endure with grace.

Next, make prayer your lifeline. This mom is already praying constantly, and that’s exactly right – “praying for help to love him, to pray for him, to forgive him”. When you feel anger surging, pause and shoot up a prayer: “Lord, help me see them with Your eyes. Help me respond with patience right now.” The Holy Spirit can absolutely flood you with a peace that “transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) in those heated moments.

Stop the proclamations and condemnations. It's better to shut up and listen.

It’s also okay to set gentle boundaries. Notice, the mom did speak up and tell the boyfriend that the crude insults upset her. You can calmly ask for respect, but do it without losing your Christlike composure. Even if the other person keeps behaving poorly, you can choose your response. You are not responsible for their behavior, but you are responsible for yours.

The goal is that when they look at you, even if they disagree with your beliefs, they can’t help but notice an unexpected kindness and steadfast peace in you. They may still roll their eyes on the outside, but your consistent love will be working on their heart. As 1 Peter 3:1-2 teaches, a godly life can quietly win over those who are not obeying the word, because they “observe your pure, reverent lives.”

Know that your gentle witness is not a sign of agreement with their choices, it’s a sign of Jesus at work in you. Keep showing respect, even when disrespected. Keep extending forgiveness, even when it isn’t asked for. This is not about condoning wrongdoing—it’s about showcasing Christ’s transforming power in real time.

Remember their spiritual life is at stake—not yours.

If you are like me, you will mess up at times. We all do. I guarantee you will have moments where frustration boils over. When that happens, don’t beat yourself up—take it as another opportunity to demonstrate humility and Christ’s grace. A simple, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted that way,” can be a powerful testimony. It shows that you, as a Christ Follower, rely on God’s grace and are quick to repent when wrong. That kind of authenticity is rare, and believe me, people notice.

Even the toughest critic in your life can be softened over time by genuine, Christlike love. Do not forget, it’s God’s Spirit that ultimately changes hearts, not our arguments. Your role is to be faithful in living out the truth with love; God’s role is to work on their hearts through that witness.

As I mentioned earlier, what would you do in a situation like this?  I'd really like to hear from you. (Hit reply or simply call 800-811-2387). 

Yours in Christ,

Arnie Cole 

Spiritual Fitness Researcher & Coach